Don't Let Me Die Alone

Don't let me die alone
Away from everyone that knows me past my ID bracelet
Endless hallways lined with numbered doors
Metallic bedside manners and echoed emptiness.
Don't let me die alone.
By myself before being boxed away and laid to rest.
By myself where exchanged pleasantries are hello's and goodbye's
Rather then good morning and good night's.
Don't let me die alone.
You get tired of waiting for visitors that don't come.
You miss out on invitations to come by for the holidays.
You start to lose hope.
Hoping that maybe the grass is greener on the other side.
Don't let me die alone.
Put me in the attic or the basement.
Or the room with no windows on the far side of the house.
Somewhere I can ask for a hug.
From someone other then the stainless steel bars that keep me in place at night.
Don't let me die alone.
I'm telling you this now while my eyes are still brown and clear.
Before cataracts sets in and they turn Gray.
Like Alice through the looking glass I'm still here.
I can see you.
And I'm asking you while I can.
Please don't let me die alone.
Fawn over me while combing my hair.
Or wrap me up in that blanket before it gets stolen.
But don't put me away
Away from all the little reminders of why I should stay here.
Away from front porches with grandkids.
Or playing bingo at The Center down the street.
I might get in the way and I'm sorry.
I just want to be around
I want to stay a little while longer
I know I have to go one day
I'm not fighting that
I just don't want your last memory of me to be you answering the phone.
I'm sorry Sir, your Aunt died.
Alone

R.I.P
Alice Gray
9/25/12 - 1/30/07

© February 2007
Staats

We Don't Care What People Say

Disclaimer: I'm back. Shannon this Blog is for you avid reader that you are. LOL. It's been a while but just because a writer doesn't write as frequently doesn't make him any less of a writer. Just makes them a little backed up. And the more I keep bottled in the more people I go off on. So here is some steam...



Contrary to popular belief I am alive and well.
The reports of my untimely demise have been greatly exaggerated
Although an aggravated assault was made on my character I avoided assassination.
But I'm still going through the motions.
The walking dead.
Still hiding behind this mask of smiles.
My writer's block was less of a block and more of a safeguard from the outside world.
I wasn't nor am I in search of understanding.
I don't write so you have a better idea of who I am.
Those days of seeking social acceptance have ebbed away at some of the bestest/greatest/worstest/most miserablist years of my life.
As I get ready to put this book up on the shelf I realize that this isn't it.
This isn't a book.
It captures as much of my light as a spark does to a dark hallway.
It is time for me to close this chapter.
For good this time.
No revisiting past mistakes.
I've concluded that life puts you through constant tests.
Some harder then others.
Because if life didn't test you how would you know if you were any stronger.
Isolation, assimilation, reconforming to what people wanted me to be that was my test.
I've been fighting against becoming comfortable in North Carolina.
Refusing to play well with others in my box,
Has prepared me to live outside of these four walls.
Where I am no longer a danger to myself.
Time to stop walking to the sound of flapping lips
And dance to my own music.