V-Day Part Deux

Let me open by saying that I am no jaded. I love love.
I love love like when my palms get all sweaty hovering over the number 7 on speed dial to call you.
I also know that if I don't tell you today that you should still know it.
If I never get a chance to tell you again that I showed it.
That you felt it.
Understood what it meant for it to be unadulterated. Untainted with ununiquness.
I've loved few. Your greatest loves should never outnumber the fingers on one hand.
I've learned that these people loved me once or twice in some cases.
I knew it when I didn't wake up to cards, candy, flowers.
Whether it was a 5 Star meal or "Hey baby there is some Chinese in the fridge".

I just can't believe that today we choose to unzip our pants and whip out our love.
Measure it in the view of strangers. See whose is the biggest. More meaningful.
More thought out. Or unique. Whose is frivolous or small. Or cower from the supernova love of others.

This is not a moratorium of love. Just of a day. Of a day that many of you didn't spend with the same people last year. Last Christmas. Last week. Last text.

Last Valentine's Day I loved myself. And I loved Andre 3000. And I loved Cupid lying on his face with an arrow in his back. I loved the idea that an ideal can be ridiculed. Hung high in minority but not be called jaded or unhappy. My color is not green. Nor would I say that my demeanor is unhappy. Melancholy perhaps.

I will say this when I'm married with kids. This is me. I'll never change. I'm barely religious and you think I'm going to be out of pocket, out of mind, punch drunk with envy or amore about some faux Hallmark Holiday. Kick rocks. Heart shaped ones.

We Are The World (remix baby)

Watch the video before you comment on this post please.

In the interest of all that are locally, nationally, and internationally involved in some form of community service congratulations. Thank you for being apart of something without being told, coerced, or staged into a photo op to do something to make a difference in someone else's life.

The devastation in Haiti by no means is a mere thing to scoff at (Pat Roberson and The 500 Club) and the country will spend endless amounts of money and time to get on its feet. The donations and benefits are all necessary and should be thought about even after the cameras stop rolling.

But this mediocre attempt of a rendition should be shortened by oh I would say 3 minutes. The rapping section...FAIL! Busta Rhymes, Swizz Beatz, Lil Wayne, LL Cool J, Snoop, T-Pain, Kanye, Akon and Will.i.am (sorry) needed to be barred from the recording studio. Its a song not a freestyle. Autotune should not be allowed alongside real singing artists. Do something different. But don't stand there alongside "sangers" like Pink, Mary Mary, Celine Dion, Jennifer Hudson, Adam Levine, Josh Gruben. I mean they put their hearts into it. And have the vocal talent that 25 years ago I am sure would have been welcomed in the studio with Michael Jackson, Stevie Wonder, etc.

I am not a hater. I am just done with Hip-Pop. I am sad to see it die a little more each day.

America Unleashed

I heard the funniest comment the other day. I called a friend to chit-chat and they said, "Can I call you back I am on a long distance call." This may not be so strange to you. But I called a cell phone. Of a friend that was out-of-state. And it made me laugh. My Mom used to say that was the reason why she didn't click over when she had another call, because she was a long distance call, which she was paying more for.

Second funny thing. I got asked why didn't I have a house phone. I replied because I didn't need another unnecessary bill. I use my cell phone as personal computer, GPS, music player, digital camera, calculator, notepad, calendar, and sometimes to make phone calls. I am in all senses of the word tethered to my technology. How many of us aren't? If you are reading this put your hands down.

We are findable, transparent, stereotypical, quotable, and virtually addicted to the leashes that keep us connected to each other. I am not excited for this advancement in technology. It reminds me of the movie Crash and Demolition Man. Don Cheadle says in Crash, "We're always behind this metal and glass...I think we miss that touch so much that we CRASH into each other just to feel something." And in Demolition Man the characters no longer touch during intimate moments, everything is experienced through sensory machines.

When was the last time you sent a loved one a hand written letter? Or you called friends and family to let them know you had made it to a destination safely. Little things like respecting a person's character and not interrupting them at 2am with text messages that only say "R U up?" Niceties are no longer extended. Facebook invades our personal lives so much that I do not look forward to my 10 year reunion. I am greeted by smiling faces, marriage announcements, bridal showers, baby's births, and a constant barrage of daily updates from people that I haven't seen since I picked up my diploma back in Baltimore.




Some say it's a plus. But people are supposed to fade from your peripheral for a reason. They are not meant to have access to your life's ambitions, your joys, sorrows, all that you would share with only people who know your middle name. Now for business purposes network away. But I am not narcissistic enough to think that my life is that important to other people or even entertaining enough for you to "follow" my every move. Or that I would want to update you every time I wiped my ass while I was fighting off Swine Flu.




I just would like to give the excuse one day that "sorry I missed your call I was out of town/out the house/out of my mind". And that be reason enough for not calling you. Texting you. Twitting you. Adding you. Sending you requests. Sharing songs/video/music. I just would like some anominity that life is supposed to afford you. We have to realize that our next generation of leaders will have belonged to some internet community, that unless they know at age 13 they want to be President there will be images of them that people will refer to to assassinate their character with just a right-click and save.





I've driven back home after getting to work because I left my cell phone. Felt like I had walked out of the house without pants on. We will never be unleashed. But maybe we can give ourselves a little more personal space from prying eyes and scrolling screens.

Salvation

One night while watching television I felt a moment of enlightenment. Not something profound, self-evaluating, but undeniably spiritual. I was watching Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (yes I am a nerd) and the main character John Connor asks his Uncle what he would be like in the future. And I began to wonder what if would be like to know who or what you are to become in the future. Especially if the man/woman you are to become will be herald as the Saviour of Man. Imagine the pressure. Imagine the task set ahead of you second guessing your actions, trying to be something that everyone thinks you should be. Now before this becomes a piece of "living your life for you and not what other people think", I realized ironically that this story sounded very familiar.




If you have seen any of the Terminator movies this should be easy to connect the dots.

Dot 1: John Connor
Dot 2: End of the World
Dot 3: Mother impregnated by a man that hasn't been born yet
Dot 4: Saviour of Man
Dot 5: One "man" manages to rise from the ashes to put right what is wrong with the world.



Recognize the story. For you that need a better picture.

Dot 1: JC. (Jesus Christ)
Dot 2: The Apocolypse
Dot 3: The Virgin Mary
Dot 4: Son of God
Dot 5: Revelations

You could only imagine the joy I felt in this story. That something sown so deep in cinema was a road map to Faith.

Belief.


Salvation.


Now I am far from any Saint. Nor do I prescribe to much of organized religion (although I still consider myself Christian). And before zealots tear this piece to pieces we have to realize that all people do not have the same walk with God. That His path is different for all of us. That faith is defined in believing without seeing. That salvation comes only to those that welcome it. The correlation isn't that difficult to make.

Death. Famine. Destruction by fire. End of Days. Judgement Day. Salvation. The last two being actual subtitles taken from the Terminator movies.

We all know the story of Jesus as told by the Bible. We have listened to or tried to sweep under the rug the thought of Jesus Christ being not the Son of God but a man who lived and died. I believe that the story is blended. I think the same way that God chose men to spread His word the same could have been done in the story of Jesus. That this man had such a relationship with God that it was as if God lived in him. Does that make him more human yes. Does that make him any less of a Messiah to people no. I feel that with religion its one way or the other. That there does not exist room for doubt. None of know for sure. And I don't want to use this piece to start a huge debate on Church and Religion (two different things).

All I wanted to point out is that our purpose is not always foretold. That our future is not written in stone. But if...just if...you were told that you would be the beginning and the end. That you would lead millions. Save countless others. Do great work. Perform miracles. Bring Heaven to Earth. Create paradise. Rise against the Dark and Evil in the world. How would you handle the pressure? Would you buckle? Would you strive to be the best man or woman you could be one day at a time? Would you make mistakes? What would you want your legacy to be? That you were infalliable? That you were untouchable? Would you want people to model themselves after your reality or your perception? How would you change your story so that everyone found Salvation?






(some) Churches should focus on changing their message to Salvation...it's for everyone. Rather than casting the first stone. Let he who is without sin...

The Day The World Stood Still

The irony of November 4th will always remain in my mind. On this day in the 2008th year After Christ; 332 years after the Declaration of Independence was signed and our governing body was officially created; an African-American man became President of the United States. Ironic, I say because it wasn't your usual definition of African-American. Majority of African-Americans (traditional) are not able to trace their heritage to their ancestors in Africa. We were not given the option to hold to our identity, to our history, to help shape a future steeped in remembrance. Nothing to help us weather the 400 year storm that would be the enslavement of Africans. I find it apropos that the first President of color be the son of a Kenyan father and Caucasian mother. A marriage if you will, of the quintessential cornerstone of the United States embodied. A nation built on the backs of Africans, and the misguided directives of newly declared independent Anglo-Saxons.

Our President is bi-racial. He is a color that I identify with on a personal level. He is articulate. He is an American that I am proud to say is someone I support. Not all of his policies but his ideologies. Barack Obama made the world stand still today. And because I was up at 5:30am I too helped changed the world today. No matter what happens or doesn't happen the United States changed today. The last color barrier has been shattered (+5% win is shattering in case you didn't know).

Now color withstanding a lot of work must be done. We all know that time is something that will tell, but patience and perseverance is what our President asks of us. "With great power comes great expectation." And no greater tasks exists then making sure that those millions of people that voted today help do their part in continuing to contribute and sway politics on all sides. Today it truly is our voice that was heard.

Michelle Obama mentioned that we can no longer live in fear of our decisions. I don't know if it is that fear that gives me chills as I listened to Obama's acceptance speech. That this man holds the dreams and hopes of so many, yet as shown from earlier attempts, his life is now and will always be in danger as not just the President of the United States but as a African-American man. The Plexiglass wall that shielded President Obama could not enclose thoughts of how depraved this world can be. That I don't want another negative blemish on the face of America. I do not want to relive my parents anguish of the assassination of MLK, JFK, or even my own personal association of seeing the World Trade Center Towers taken down. Those days of the world standing still are over.

President Obama is here! Let us rejoice! Seeing him on stage reminds me of the movie Deep Impact. When Morgan Freeman's Presidential portrayal gave his speech of rebuilding, I couldn't help but again be reminded of the irony of tonight's address. It was the last few minutes of a great epic movie. Where the American spirit perseveres, thrives, succeeds, even in the face of imminent disaster. His eloquence in his speech brought tears to eyes. The story of Ann Nixon who President Obama's speech included is History. HIS STORY. OUR STORY. The progress that we have made. That we are making. And that we will continue to make. So stand still as the credits roll. Take in the moment that we get to live in today. That story will forever be embedded in the fabric of this nation and this world. Listen to the music play, the faces of the Obama family, the Biden family, the supporters, the parties in the streets, the lines of people voting, the speeches, the parodies, the moment in 2004 where a Keynote Address speaker transitioned from Junior Senator to Leader of the Freeworld. Listen as African ancestors finally get to rest in peace. Truly. Stand still. And realize the world too is standing. Waiting for change.

Motivation

At the gym last week I recognized there are different things that motivate people. Some are self-motivated. As if we can see what we look like while panting on treadmill at level 5 we will agree that we are out of shape and that we never want to look like that person in the mirror again. Others get amped up by the After Pictures. That is what I call the gym bunnies or muscle dudes walking around with the least amount of workout attire allowable. They represent what we want to look like, areas that we need to work on, a visual message of you can look like me if you keep working out. What I would like to come with After Pictures (AP) are bios and Before Pictures (BP). Like if an AP used to be 50lbs overweight and now has 3% body fat I am going to be on every machine that they get on. Maybe not as long or as heavy but that's motivation to some.

I like to be the best. At everything. Or at least better then most people. The air of competition drives me most of the time. Perfect example: I was at the gym running on the treadmill and my goal was to consistently run for 5 miles in less then an hour. I do it about three times a week. Well today Gym Bunny Suzie (the name I came up with her in my head) gets on the treadmill next to me. Needless to say she cranks it up to 8. Blonde hair, little chest, and even smaller butt start bouncing on the machine. I like to keep my towel over the time so that I can't tell how far I have to go or how many minutes I have been running. Time for me is not motivation. But Suzie is just running along. And not even sweating. Soon I look over at her digital reading and she has caught up with me. Well not to be outdone I cranked up the juice on my treadmill. Now I never noticed Suzie look over at my progress or dripping sweat everywhere or even acknowledge that I had non-verbally entered her into my track and field competition but she beat my ass. Like Jamaica versus the US. What I didn't realize was during our race I was breathing right, swinging my arms, and pacing my steps that I ended up burning more calories and finishing my 5 miles just under 50 minutes. MOTIVATION!

So what motivates you? A word of encouragement? Seeing someone do better than you? A set goal? I believe we should make realistic goals, but don't but time stamps on them. Especially when they concern physical activity. Do enough to make it noticeable to you. So when someone does notice it. You can tell them you should have seen your Before Picture.

Happy Secretary's Day (Belated)

Is it a general requirement for all secretaries, receptionists, and administrative assistants to be mean and spiteful. You know the kind that won't call to the back to find out if you had an appointment. If it isn't in their books you don't matter. The same ones that will make you wait in the doctors office and tell you he will be right with you. Stop lying. Just say he is busy, backed up, eating lunch, doing the other receptionist, and will be out in a while.

They huff and puff on the phone when you ask them to give the party you are trying to reach a message. It's your job like it or not. Stop taking shit out on people so damn early in the morning. You can't be that pissed off at 8am. And if you are fake it. Stop inflicting your infectious, hateful demeanor on those you encounter throughout the day. Oh, and you know you aren't busy at your desk. We know you are emailing your coworker down the hall about America's Next Top Model or where you want to eat for lunch.

I know your job is important. I am not trying to take that away from any of you. Without you you could potentially stop the flow of an office's whole day. Just apply a little bedside manner. Smile when I come through the door. Do not scowl and tell me to have a seat before I even tell you what I am here for. No one ever gets promoted from administrative assistant to CEO. Be nice. It goes a long way.

All That Glitters...

IS NOT GOLD!!!!

Had to put that part in caps. I was having a conversation with a friend the other day about a woman he had hooked up with. Now he was telling me that she was so fine, and physically all that he wanted in a woman. He had been lusting over her for a long time and finally got the opportunity to sleep with her. Well it came at a very inconvenient time because it snowed up here in the Northeast the other day. And of course that was the night that she wanted him to come over. So with about 4 inches of snow already on the ground he hopped in his coupe (bad car in the snow) and made the normal 15 minute trip in about 40 minutes. After some awkwardness they proceeded to have sex. And within moments it was over. For her. The word my boy used to describe it was WACK. He said he has gotten more excitement with himself. The young lady wanted him to stay the night and wait for the snow plows. He said it would be fine that he would just retrace his tracks. I can't help but laughing as I type it, because life is set up with many tales like this. Not as sexual but in general.

Everything in life that glitters is not gold. Often we spend so much time putting someone on a pedestal that they are undeserving of. Their outward representative looks so enticing that we often lose temporary sense and do something that we wouldn't normally do or we are just so excited at the opportunity that we through caution into the wind. What looks too good to be true usually is. Me and my boy talked about mediocrity isn't necessarily the answer, but that most of our basic needs can be taken care of it. Some of us have had sexual encounters, hookups, one night stands with people that we would never want to be see out with. But they might take care of another need really well. Not saying to live in that mediocrity but perfection doesn't exist. No one gets all they want off of their physical/mental checklist when dating. So beware of all that glitters. FOOL'S GOLD IS AROUND IN ABUNDANCE.

F@#! That Valentine

If you are spending your money today on flowers, cards, and candy for the first time for your boo...you are officially a loser. And I am laughing at you while you try to bargain your way into a reservation at my restaurant. Because maybe you were unaware that its open 362 other days out the year. So learn to express your love for someone every day and not just Valentine's Day. It's not a holiday. It's Hallmark's Day. And I am not jealous of anyone. I'm very content with my choice of not celebrating something I think is so mundane. Valentine's Day to me is trendy, and I am the last person you will see doing the same thing that someone else is doing.

So fellas who have succumbed to the monotony of February 14th be prepared to buy the bouquets of flowers, chocolate covered whatevers, shrimp cocktail, lobster tails, and the bottle of wine...all to find out you still aren't getting any at the end of the night.

And ladies be content with your man for what he does for you not for what you think he should be doing, so what your coworker got Callililles delivered to the job, and your homegirl got a horse and carriage ride, be happy that someone wakes up and says I love you. And it's not just your day either so get him something too. Ungrateful asses.

This is me every year. So don't think this is the cause of anything. Most of my friends know I haven't done anything for this faux holiday for years. It's just how I get enjoyment from it. Yes I believe in love. I just don't believe one day means I love you more then the last. If you want to contact me do you. I am out spreading my discourse and cynicism to the masses.

In the immortal bridge from Andre 3000's album The Love Below and the song "Happy Valentine's Day"...

F@#! That Valentine's, F@#! That, F@#! That Valentine, F@#! That Valentine's Day...

Moments of Greatness

Me and some of my friends were partaking in some recreational fun and the conversation ensued that actually carried some content. One of them suggested that if I had trouble remembering what vital knowledge I was dispensing that I should invest in a digital voice recorder. I thought the idea was ingenious. How else would I remember my Moments of Greatness. That is what I have decided to call it. I believer under certain circumstances your brain relaxes and issues thoughts that are void of screening, pretense, subterfuge, and is on many levels profound. To others maybe not so much.



I made the comment that I felt more comfortable electing a President that also had recreational fun or at least used to. How else would they be able to save the world on a daily basis? Yes some of you are reading this and you are not comprehending. It's ok. It means you probably have never been Great and have nothing to compare. Proceed to the next blog entry. For those that have been Great you know what I am talking about. You may have cured cancer during this Greatness or came up with a way to bring about peace in the Middle East. Start recording your conversations. I'm going to give it a shot. Now I don't think recreational fun should be embarked upon on a regular basis, because then the moments would be less great. But every once in a while if you feel the desire to use more then 10% of your brain at one time, well think about having some fun. LOL.

This Christmas

(**Bloggers note: Amidst the Writer's Strike going on nationwide, it really gives focus to the freedom that all writers possess. For those apart of the Union that exercise this freedom I commend them. But in the same breath realize that I don't think I could subject my craft to the scrutiny of others. And I use scrutiny loosely because what is a blog but for others to read and comment. I mean to be forced to edit my work, submit to deadlines and paychecks. I do this because I like to, and not because its a task assigned to me. So this piece is somewhat of a break from the norm. I don't usually do request work. I don't write on command about any topic or specifically for any one person so AJ (you know who you are) this is in part for you. But I also had some notes on this that I wanted to share as well.) **

I had the opportunity to see an ensemble cast that resembled a lot of my family members and situations in the form of the new movie 'This Christmas' a few weeks ago. I was still doing my best Scrooge impression, as I was not so ready to move from turkey to Tree Trimming so fast. It seems like the Holiday Season always surprises up when it does arrive. And opening the day before the Turkey and Over Roasted Honey Ham had even been cut came this film that at first glance looked like the second part of Soul Food (which also opened up right before the Thanksgiving Holiday season) a little more than 10 years ago. The similarities ensued as the commonalities between many movies focused on the closeness of African-American families. The reason why these movies do so well is because many African-Americans identify with the characters and scenarios.

There is always that matriarch (although I am sick of the name Madea...thanks Tyler Perry) who seems to cook dinner, decorate the house, balance the check book, run the family business, keep the peace, and still seems to know what's really going on in her children's lives despite their locations. (Shout outs to all the women that do this with one hand tied behind her back). Then as stereotypical as usual Papa is missing in action as The Temptations (<<Thanks Dad) put it so quaintly 'Papa was a rolling stone, wherever he laid his hat was his home...'. The one difference is that the movie does focus on how blended families can still work out. Many strong male characters in the film (Delroy Lindo, Idris Alba, Colombus Short, Chris Brown, and even 'Cousin Fred') stress the importance of family and the sacrifices that we make for the sake of blood.

The women in the movie all represent African-American women in many different stages of their lives. The separated mother (who is still getting her groove on but hasn't moved on from her 1st husband), the career college student (who has the best intentions with school, just not as much focus), the too focused career woman (who can't get out of her own way and allow someone to love her outside of her family), and the stay-at-home-mom (who does what too many women do nowadays and think that infidelity should be overlooked for lack of confidence and find ways to excuse it). Very Soul Foodish, but portrayed very well by Loretta Devine, Lauren London, Sharon Leal, and Regina King, respectively. And on a side note, big ups to the director for making sure Regina King had next to nothing on. I mean housewife or not she stayed in the gym to keep that body tight and tried to keep her man home and satisfied. Hey if you're going to do it, you mind as well be the best at it. LOL. And no matter what role Regina King plays she always seems to carry that homegirl quality. Every family has a member like her. You have to give her creativity points too, baby oil and a leather belt. LOL. That ranks up there with Al Greene and the hot grits.

Not trying to give too much of the movie away, but I think it appeals to me because I come from a pretty close medium to large size family. Where if you share that similarity can attest that hijinks's like those in the movie happen at many a family function. Most of all it reminded me that Christmas really isn't Christmas without being surrounded by the ones you love. Not necessarily the ones you like, but when all is said and done you know they would do anything for you. And yes they will judge, point fingers, fight with you on the front lawn, at the bar, or on vacation, but let someone from outside the family step to you and they will have your back. I feel like I have celebrated Christmas for the last two months. The only thing I really wanted was to spend time with all of my family. It was part of the reason why I have moved back to the Northeastern area. My brother is back from Iraq and him and his entire family made the trek from Hawaii to the East Coast. At the drop of a dime my family was there to celebrate with dishes of all kinds and of course spirits. That's family.

This Christmas don't send yourself into credit card debt that you will be paying off til August. It's not worth it. Enjoy the greatest gifts that this season has to offer. Turn over and smile at the special someone that makes this cold season a little warmer. Or walk down the hall and peek in on the little ones whose innocence you are shaping while they are still caught up in being comfortable and not the commodity of this Holiday. And if you have to by train, plane, bus, or automobile make sure that home is where your heart is This Christmas morning. Rejoice and be glad. And lest not forget that 'Jesus is the reason for the season'.

**(Bloggers 2nd note: I'm an old school fan too. Chris Brown as talented as he is needed to leave Donny Hathaway's original alone. Too many runs. The soundtrack for the movie is bumpin' though. And for me it's not the Christmas season until I hear The Temptations 'Silent Night'. By the way this will be my only Christmas piece. It snowed today in Jersey and with it being December it seemed perfect timing to post this. I will not be posting many movie reviews, just ones I feel strongly about. But another good one to check out if you haven't seen it is The Family Stone. Now with that said you won't see anything about The Perfect Holiday, you know that other movie starring Morris Chestnut and Gabrielle Union (for like the 5th time). Although I will be seeing the new Will Smith production I Am Legend, again no other plugs especially since I hope it doesn't follow the boring footsteps of Tom Hank's one man show Cast Away. And if you went to go see This Christmas you probably also got a chance to view the trailer for the new Ice Cube movie featuring Katt Williams. I'm not even going to tell you the name. One word for it Buffoonery. LOL. I'm going to sneak in. It's my way of not really supporting.)**

"I want to wish you a Merrrrrry

Merrrrrrry Christmassssss

To eaccchhhh

To all of youuuuuu

Merrrrrrry Christmasssss

To all of youuuuuuuuu

(in the deep voice)

Merry Christmas from the Temptations"

TV Schizophrenia

I have a DVR. It's the only way I can watch television nowadays. And after getting off late at night there is nothing on television to watch, so I just record shows aimlessly. Tuesday night I got off early (9pm) and happened to catch up on some of my favorite shows. Random as it may sound these are the thoughts that ensued:

Heroes (NBC) is one of the best written shows I have seen in a while. In case you didn't know I am a nerd. A functioning nerd but still a nerd. The intricate character plots and twists definitely keep you tuned in.

Lebron James is a funny dude. Not funny haha, but funny to laugh at. If you missed it I'm sure its on YouTube already, the King of Basketball allowed the group over at Saturday Night Live to do whatever they wanted to him. Which includes dressing him up as a Solid Gold Dancer with Jheri Curl and skin tight gold pants with matching top.

I hope my wife (if I ever get married) at 56 has a body like Jane Seymour on Dancing With the Stars(ABC). I mean GrandMami is fly. A little pale for my tastes but still fly. And she is flexible...which helps her on the show of course. I am still pulling for the Cheetah and the Spice Girl in the finals.

Ellen Degeneres and the dog issue has gone way to far. At first it was a little sad to hear. Then I remembered that I am not a pet person. And although I can be sympathetic, empathy escapes me. Although her cult fans need to be stopped. Stop sending death threats just because your favorite TV host is losing her mind during a taping.

And in case you have been sleeping underneath a rock. Ellen Degeneres is a lesbian. Not that that matters. I just kind of needed a segue into my next topic. Gay fictional characters. It was alluded to in the on-air friendship between two hobbits in Lord of the Rings. And ironically didn't include gay British actor Ian McKellan (Gandolf the Grey/White). But another in the Wizarding World was recently let out of his magical closet. Albus Dumbledore, the Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Wizarding, in the uber-popular Harry Potter series, is in fact gay. Gasp!!! Religious zealots are devastated that their children have been at the center of this plot by J.K. Rowling and they are currently in the process of trying to see how fast a 700-page book burns. Get a life. In a book that alludes to everything but sex, the last thing we need to be doing is re-reading the series to find clues to a ficitional characters sexuality. (Hell look at Bert and Ernie from Seasame Street...oops you did know...right) Although, it might be interesting to see if in the 6th Harry Potter movie installment the actor that plays the now vilified character has a little more limp in his wrist when flicking his wand. Stereotypical gumps.

Why is California always on fire? I mean always. Really? Can someone please explain it to me. And why is it always a special report on ABC about it?

VH-1 is officially the new BET. I remember once upon a time there were very few programs that catered towards Blacks on the network. In the last month VH-1 has seen the premiere's of Hip-Hop Honors, I Love New York 2, The Salt-N-Peppa Show, as well as their continuing specials dedicated to Iconic members of Rap and R&B music. BET aired the Hip-Hop Awards. Ummm...kind of dropping the ball aren't ya? Now, I'm not saying that VH-1 always put together quality shows, but in comparison to BET...well there isn't much to compare now is there.

And couldn't help but mention that certain people in Hip-Hop are too funny. In the immortal words of Dave Chappelle..."When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong". This weeks recipient of the award goes to Foxy Brown. In an attempt to prove that although she wasn't the first female MC to do hard time she is the baddest to do it. While serving a year in jail (Riker's Island), the BK rapper has recently gotten herself 2 months in the Hole. For you non-prison show watchers is solitary confinement for acting a damn fool. Need a say more?

No more TV for me tonight. This schizo thing might be a reoccurring thing. Or just might be completely random. Guess we will all find out.

Why Did I Get Married?

An institution as old as time. Marriage. Some do it for personal gain, because of family obligations, for money, some do it for love, and others for many other reasons. But how many married couples get asked the question "Why Did You Get Married?" And further more who would answer truthfully? Tyler Perry's new #1 hit movie "Why Did I Get Married?" which premiered last week asks four couples that question on a weekend getaway and the drama that ensues.

Many have reviewed the movie, which is being marketed as a Dra-medy (Drama/Comedy), but it's a very real look into the motives of couples. And how loving someone is harder then not loving them at all. Now, I'm not going to spoil any of the scenes for those haven't seen it yet. But after watching the movie I looked at all those in my circle of friends, family, co-workers who were married or getting married. I wrote a piece a few years back called "The Single Man's Blue's", and my desire to be married with children. Watching this movie showed me that many couples even with their best intentions have secrets, lie, withhold information from their loved ones. Some do it maliciously, some do it to "protect" them, and some do it because they think the truth would be worst to handle.

I had the opportunity to speak with my ex about an act of infidelity that I had committed while we were together, that I later confessed too. At the time I thought I was being forthcoming, in hindsight I realize there might have been a selfish acknowledgment since my conscious was eating at me. Nonetheless I recently asked her if she wishes that I hadn't told her. And she said yes. WOW! That simple truth on my part changed our lives and relationship with each other. So I begin to wonder what secrets my friends, family members, even my own parents kept from each other.

My parents have been married for almost 25 years. They have outlasted some of their friends', siblings, and other marriages. And I wonder if the simple word of TRUST is what keeps them together. That my mother trusts my father and vice versa. I think that was the apparent disconnect in the movie between all of the couples. They didn't trust some aspect of their spouse. Their job, career goals, past, ambition. Or for others they think that some secrets should be ignored no matter how apparent because they are the only man/woman in their life. Such self-pity often keeps dead end marriages together far longer then they should last. Others feel a sense of responsibility to children, family, society to keep their marriage intact. They provide others with an idea marriage at the expense of their own happiness. It doesn't seem fair.

I see my parents and think why did they get married? I have a pretty good idea of why. A better question is why after all these years have they stayed married? And that answer matters more then the first. The reasons of why always seem to be minuscule when compared with the reality that is now. And for some the answer isn't pretty. I have seen so many friends recently get married for what seems to be the right reason. I am even in two weddings in the next 3 months. One of them is a do-over. It was called off a year ago (Damn non-refundable deposits). I wish all the happy couples many years of happiness. And when those unhappy days come (and they will come), don't make lists of Pros and Cons of your spouse, but remember what made u say "I Do", in the beginning, and try to imagine if you had said I don't. If that foundation is enough to stand on, then you need to try to make things work.

As for me I am as single as a long mid-summer day in Alaska (That's almost 19hrs of daylight. LOL) And I'm happy being with me. And when the time comes for me to get married somebody print this out and shove it in my face and remind me to think before I rent another non-refundable tuxedo.

Where Did My Theme Song Go?

"It's a rare condition this day and age to read any good news on the newspaper page..."

Do you remember that theme song? Remember the rest of the words? Or what show used to start with that same diddy every TGIF? Family Matters. But apparently music doesn't. There is a very small percentage of television shows (thanks to reality tv) that actually have real actors, but also are missing that vital theme song where as soon as we hear it we are instantly connected with our favorite characters.

Do you remember the television show that recreated there theme song and introduction every season? "The Cosby Show". It was as much apart of the show as the scripted dialogue. So why have so many writers and shows opted out of this age old (well as old as television anyway) tradition? 1.5-2 minutes. The average hour long television show only actually airs 40 minutes of footage the rest is filled with commercials and credits. And you have a DVR that automatically records programming you have faced frustrations with programs that go one or two minutes over and you miss the ending of a great cliffhanger. (Ha! Ayo, I'm tired of using technology. You can't trust it for everything)

In an effort to gain a whole episode worth of shooting (22 episodes= avg season; 22 + 2minutes= 1 extra episode) these shows have decided that no introduction is necessary. Literally. No theme. Either a quick recap or lead-in and then just the name of the show. The first 2 minutes of shooting usually reserved for special guests appearances to have their names displayed now include the principle characters. Now for shows like "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" ("In West Philadelphia born and raised"), we all knew who Will Smith was but we only kept up with the other characters because of the intro which happens to be one of the most popular rap lines sung by all, ranking up there with Sir Mix-a-lot's "Baby Got Back". There isn't a hard formula to follow, the greatest words aren't even necessary just a catchy tune. Look at Showtime's hit show Weeds. ("Tiny boxes on the hillside...") They have the same theme song, yet song in a different genre each week. Its really quite creative.

I bring this up because I am a nostalgia type of guy. Music is the only form of time travel that I am aware of. So networks if you wonder why no one remembers your last failed attempt at a cult classic hit television show, think about bringing some lyricists and create a jingle that jogs the memory.

"Where did my theme song go, I'm wonder where it went off too. I miss my theme song so, I'm searching but I can't get through. Please tell that song if you hear it, that someones longing to learn it. Where did my theme song go, I'm wishing it would get back soon. Get back soon."

So what's your favorite theme song? Mine goes along with this posts picture. Let me know. Better yet let's see you kick some of the lyrics.

Is $315 Dollars Worth Your Soul?

I know that this is not going to be everyone's favorite topic. But since when do I write to please others. I do it for me. I wrote this piece a long time ago. Seven years to be exact, so those that might have chosen this route. God bless you and I hope you have healed or are in the process of healing from this life lesson.


This is the question that too many teenagers and young adults, more so high school and college students, have to ask themselves on a daily basis. To abort or not to abort? It's not a question but a reality more often then necessary. Abortion, many cases being the product of irresponsibility and people not dealing with the consequences of their actions. We live in a world that tries to shortcut a problem, and think that they come to a correct solution. When in fact that thought process is what has resulted in 1.2 million abortions a year. Over one million mistakes? The thing about being a mistake is that after it has been done once, it shouldn't happen again. "We made a mistake," is no longer an acceptable excuse. Those of us that are supposed to be support systems are as guilty as those that commit the act. Think you are removed from the situation, lets try a scenario:

You see a woman going into a dorm room/apartment/house with your friend, the same woman your friend said he was going to "give it to". You then realize this is the same guy that said he doesn't use condoms, because he has never got a woman pregnant before. A few weeks later the woman is missing class/work/functions because she's too "sick" to leave her place. She's pregnant. You know it, she knows it, and your friend knows it. But it isn't any of your business when you find out that she is going to get rid of the baby. You even tell your friend to hand his business, and that no woman is worth losing his scholarship/job/comfortable life over.

Remember that beginning part, is $315 dollars worth your soul? Better yet is $315 worth the life of anybody. Common said it best with, "From now on I'mma use self-control instead of birth control." It isn't worth it. For those other there handling yours, good for you. No, you don't deserve an award, what you need is a soapbox for you to get up on and preach to those headed down the same path that you once travelled. Truthfully, how many of us are ready to be a parent? I'm not. And looking back on my life, I'm just lucky that God also decided that He didn't want me to somebody's parent.

Think back for a minute on your past sexual history. Has there been anyone in that history that you would want as the mother or father of your child. Some of us don't even talk to the people that we've engaged sexually. She's not the woman your momma wanted you to bring home, nor the guy that your Dad wanted to see with his daughter. But fellas, let's be real; if the girl you got pregnant, be it your girlfriend or just some random girl, and wanted to abort the baby would you try to stop her? Probably not. I would. I couldn't live with the thought of killing my son, my daughter, just so I can go out and make the same mistake again with somebody else. Or on a larger scale, kill off the next President of the United States, the doctor that finds a cure to cancer, or helps repair the ozone layer. A child is not a burden and should never be considered such.

In some cases having a child forces the parents to grow up. It's almost a test, to see if you'll step up to the plate of responsibility. Many choose to be a base runner, so that they can play the field and try to win at life without ever swinging a bat. As a baseball player can you live without ever hitting a ball? As a person could you live with yourself if you killed your unborn child? I do believe there are certain instances where the rules should be bent. This is a very sick world that we live in, where molestation, rape, and incest happen more often then they ever should. But I am pro-life.

Some people aren't ready to be parents. I'm not. But if you're not use common sense and a little thing called restraint. You don't have to "poke" everything in a skirt. Or ladies you don't have to get everything in a nice car or with money in their pockets. And ladies "it's too many Black women that can say they mothers, but can't say that they wives." So the next time you encounter a brother with a child, give him the time of day. That child tells you what is in that man's soul. Don't worry about a ready made family or the baby's mother. That man isn't just a man, but a father single or not. He is responsible, dedicated, committed, and someone that can be counted on. At least in one little person's eyes. Every one makes mistakes, but he didn't. That child isn't a mistake, the conception of that child wasn't a mistake. God doesn't make mistakes. And that child is God's definition of that man.

"I don't wanna, go through the drama of having a baby's momma/
Weekend visits and buying' J's ain't gonna make me a father/
For a while bearing a child is somethin' I never wanted to do/
For me to live forever I can only do that through you/
Nerve I got to talk about them niggas with guns/
Must have really thought I was God to take the life of my son."

-excerpts from Common's "Retrospect for Life" featuring Lauryn Hill.

People Don't Dance No More...

...All they do is... Snap

Yes, I'm guilty of listening and enjoying what is the emerging leader in Hip-Hop and R&B jams from the south labeled "Snap Music." But secretly I am awaiting the downfall of the ever catchy dance craze that is sweeping the urban community and saturating it with non-dancing club-hoppers.

It didn't occur to me until I was at Club 112 in Atlanta (the home of Snap Music), this past February how ridiculous it is to see hundreds of people doing the same synchronized dance. Stuff like that is only supposed to happen in movies. No one outside of couples are doing the exact same dance at the same time. Unless you are down in the "A" listening to pre-release of Goin' Down by Young Joc, the newest member of BadBoy South. Before the hit song made its way smoking on a midnight train from Georgia, the snap dance could also be seen mixed in with many of the city's other natives. Groups such as D4L and southern rivals Dem Franchise Boys had previously been battling privately and over the radio airwaves, with songs such as "Lean With It, Rock With It", "Shake Your Laffy Taffy", and "Betcha Can't Do It Like Me", giving verbatim instructions as to how to best do their dance.

Other Southern artists realized they were witnessing the latest shift in power in the Hip-Hop community. Not since Bass Music and the Bankhead Bounce had the south gained crossover appeal from the more dominant East Coast and West Coast styles of Hip-Hop. Soon the females of the ATL jumped on the bandwagon with lady like versions of how to Snap. Cherish's smash hit "Do It To It" was choreographed with ease just bouncing and snapping away, only to be followed up by Monica's "Everytime The Beat Drops". If you aren't sure what songs are snap songs, just listen to the background of any radio friendly song. In a hours time you should hear at least three songs, that have snaps to emphasize a point or to add to the chorus. The motto: The beat has to be hot, but the snap has to be hotter.


A visit to Los Angeles last month, showed me how strong of a hold it had over the nation. And it hadn't just ended with the snap. The Motorbike (made infamous by the Young Joc video) which is exactly what it sounds like someone imitating they are revving the engine on a motor bike has managed to strike out as the number 2 dance craze. Only to be followed closely with the "Shoulder Lean" perfected by two other Atlanta natives, T.I. and Young Dro. Despite the popularity of such shows as So You Think You Can Dance, or the popular teen movie Step Up that stresses the beauty of all dance forms, I don't think this is what they had in mine. Those that excelled in the two step are cheering all the way to the dance floor. Creativity is now being frowned upon. Finding yourself at any club not going along with the crowd when these songs drop is tantamount to Hip-Hop treason. Not only do you stick out like a sore thumb, but you also are blocking someones hand that is trying motorbike or snap in your direction.

Now before you jump on my case, like I said I enjoy the music. The beats although simplistic are entertaining. And sometimes a little snap here or there is okay. But people exercise moderation. Every song isn't a snap song. Or something you shoulder lean into. When pop acts start mimicking your style its time to give it up. Not to break an already great mold, Diddy the creative mind behind MTV's Making The Band 3 group, Danity Kane, teamed up his lovely lady ensemble with their labelmate Young Joc for another stirring rendition of who can snap better on the groups first single "Showstoppin'". The format has also changed time zones with Chicago's newest boy group One Chance, that appear on Usher's new label, featuring their first single "Look at Her" featuring Fabo from D4L snapping away.

One more thing before I go. "Chicken Noodle Soup"?!? Chicken Noodle Soup with a Soda on the side? I must say I prefer snapping to someone kicking me in the club as they are "getting it", as the song instructs. Can Cee-Lo please take a break from Gnarls Barkley and return to Goodie Mob. Just so that they can do a remix.

"Because people don't dance no more, all they do is this..." Snap.