Friends How Many of Us Have Them?

"I'm just hanging out with a few friends."

How many times have we uttered those words, and at the same time realize that it is the furthest thing from the truth. Its amazing how loosely we use the word Friend. It's just an easier characterization then having to say, "I am with an associate." Or that some people you hang out with occasionally are out with you. But would you consider them friends? Probably not. We form associations with people, and they have qualities that one day might matriculate into friendship. But its a word that I find very hard to mean genuinely. It's hard for those that I meet in the future to enter my circle of friends. Considering that I have had some of the same friends since 7th grade. Or that I travel with friends that I met my freshman year in high school. It makes those people that come into my life for a short time feel more as acquaintances. Not to knock what they have the potential to be, or that the road to friendship is hard. There are just little things that you expect from your friends. They are your rock, they have seen you cry, they tell you about yourself even when you don't want to hear it, they are someone that you would ask for a loan from. They are your support system.

Friends know your last name, and they have heard your middle name. They just might not remember it. They know your birthday. You visit their parents or send them cards on holidays and special occasions. Your younger siblings become their younger siblings. I have friends that are as close to me as some family members. They are my extended family. The fact that I can be myself whenever or wherever with them is the greatest thing about friends. You don't have to put on a mask. You don't have to lie, you can just be you. And they don't care who you are today or tomorrow, they still want to be apart of your life. So without naming names, I am thankful for my true friends. The Crew. 10 years. And somehow we still can stand each other.

"Friends, how many of us have them. Friends, ones we can depend on. Friends, how many of us have them. Before we go any further, let's be FRIENDS!!!- Whodini

Friends Dating Friends?

Good idea or not? I don't think so. Friendships are valuable assests. Friends are there to bounce ideas off, share highs and lows, but dating complicates all of those things. Yes, I think that the person you are dating should be your friend. It's a very fine line. Their are people that you meet that you are attracted to, depending on how fast you move, you might try to befriend them before trying to date them. That's fine. Now their are people that have grown up each other, went to the same schools, lived around the corner from you, whose friendship is the very foundation of your association. Dating those people are where things get complicated?

You are familar with the dating patterns of your friends. You know when they don't return phone calls, what that really means, or if they want to go out a lot, you recognize those patterns. Because good friends talk to each other about past relationships. It's also evident that when friends start dating each other, they become oblivious to certain things. They take for granted the nature of your foundation. Sometimes they become great partners, but forget to be great friends. And then what if something goes wrong?

You might have the same group of friends. Who is allowed to hang with who? You put your common friends in awkward situations by making them decide who they are closer to. You find yourself at mutual events and try to avoid each other. But you share a history. And you are expected to graciously cope with the introduction of their newest partner, at these mutual events. It's hard. It's easy to a big person on the outside, but on the inside it takes its toll. So really examine is dating a close friend, really worth the risk. Cause when the dust settles will that girl or boy next door still be there.

Executive Dining

Ahhhh!!! The service industry. Yes, easily one of the oldest professions in history, yet its blue collar image has caused many to frown down upon this honorable position. Let’s face it. It’s one of those jobs that have to be done. Now, not to be confused with the fast food industry; waiting tables can be a very lucrative job. Often held by students and young adults, because of the flexible schedules and fast cash options, waiting tables is seen as a stepping stone or transition into another field. Everybody in their life time has dined at a restaurant; some better then others. But what often keeps a customer patronizing that particular restaurant has to do as much with food quality as it does service. So why is it that good service does not beget good tipping practices?



Upscale and fine dining establishments such as H20 in Washington, D.C, Dolce in Los Angeles, Justin’s in New York, or even the chain of Ruth’s Chris restaurants located all over the United States, have tipping practices that have gratuity already added into the customer’s bill. Many after hours cafes and diners also use this method as late night patrons may not be inclined to leave a significant amount for a tip. Well, before we analyze these practices, first a little education. For it is education on the idea of gratuity where I think we fail to completely understand each other. Previously, waiters and waitresses have had the luxury of having a job where the IRS cannot accurately determine how much money they make in tips. A new occurence to deter this has been the implementation of declaring tips. This concept is universal and takes place in many restaurants. Servers are given the option of claiming the amount of tips that they may have received in a shift, so that can be properly credited on their pay stub. Many restaurants have it where servers cannot claim anything less then what they have made in charge tips, everything else is based on the honor code. This honor code, many are not apt to hold up. Reason being, that majority of waiters and waitresses make a whopping total of $2.13 cent an hour. Half of minimum wage. The IRS has also added a portion into tax forms specifically for those that make majority of their wages in tips. So, if you don’t claim it they can’t track it. But that too also has its reprecussions and consequences.


Ok, back to the matter at hand. $2.13 an hour. Slave wages. With inflation and the economy doing all that it can to make sure the improverished stay that way, this cannot be an ample means to sustain most people’s lifestyles. Some restaurants go above and beyond to help guide the guest to what a suitable tip should be. Some Bonefish Grill restaurants, a subsidiary of the Outback Corporation, include a suggested gratuity of 18% percent that is printed by the total price of the meal. So let’s give you a few rules to follow the next time you decide to eat out.


Rule #1
If you are on an Executive Account (meaning you get reimbursed for your meal), or you have a Corporate Card, and the service is great. You should automatically tip 20%. It’s not your money and you can write it off.

Rule #2
Do not blur the line between a servers mistake and the Kitchen cook’s mistakes. Your waitress did not undercook your steak, so please don’t take it out on them.

Rule #3
10% gratuity is for bad service and bad service only. It is never ok to tip that low amount. 15% - 18% for decent service.

Rule #4
Always treat your server with the same respect that you would want to be treated. No yelling, no snapping fingers to get their attention, and definitely no grabbing.

Rule #5
If the restaurant closes at 11pm, then you need to leave no later then 11:30pm. Servers want to go home at the end of the night too. So please don’t walk into a restaurant at 10:58pm and expect for everybody to be happy.

It would be my wish that everybody on this Earth should have to wait tables at least one weekend to really get the experience that I am speaking about. As a former waiter I would never not leave a decent tip, because I know what they have to go through. So just keep that in mind.

Black Error Television Awards (remix)

I just realized the last post I put up here started off talking about the errors of the BET Awards. But I changed my thought pattern halfway through. Well as Diddy says, "This is the remix."

Here are a list of things that I could have done without seeing on the Awards program.

#1. Baby Mama Slob Down

I understand surprise performances and collabos. I am all for that on Award shows. Definitely a way to make things new and spice some things up. But when does spice become spoiled. I felt sick watching Fantasia and Jamie Foxx tounge wrestling on TV. And then she didn't even sing. She just Bobo'd across the stage and screamed into the mic.

#2. Stop Beating Around the Bush

Stop digging up old sitcom actors and actresses just to throw a twist into their little skits. Yes, we all have been dying to see Janet and her new and improved body (since her bounce back from the Fat Farm). What I didn't need was the Good Times cast, Strung Out, Where Have You Been, and Sickly. I mean JJ, Thelma, and Micheal. Although it was a nice way for lil Penny to make a comeback, I had flashbacks to Hot Iron marks. Next time let the 40-year old sex symbol have the stage to herself.

#3. X-Men 3: The Ghetto Storm

I don't know if I am more offended by Mary J. Blige screaming for 46 seconds, or the fact that she looked like a ghetto superhero in her catsuit, knee high Power Ranger boots, and half a pony attached to her head. Yes, I've never been a Mary J. fan. Some might even call me a hater. But didn't she look like she was about to take off in flight to fight crime. Maybe that's her mutant power, scream and screech, until you turn the channel.

#4. Check 1, Check 2...

"My mic sound right, check one...my mic sound right, check two...my mic sound right, check three...are you ready"
...NO!!!
Sound checks are so that we can work out kinks, like microphones working. CD's being cued to the right spot. And that all backups are ready. So what happened during TI's performance. Now you wish you had a five minute delay don't you. Now BET just looks bootleg. And it has nothing to do with the venue. Its the Kodak Theatre. You didn't see this kind of foolishness during the American Idol Finale.

#5. The Original Metro

PRINCE! What else do I need to say. This dude had on some shoe boots, a purple pant suit, a matching purple neck scarf, flawless make-up, and his hair was flowing. Yeah, I'm still talking about a dude. I mean his hair looked better then half the women in the audience. Ladies, step your game off. Those women out there with original style like Kelis, that makes you Bossy. But until you float around the stage, and your hair doesn't move, you are nowhere near Prince. LOL.

Black Error Television Awards 2006

Black Error Television, should have been the name of last night's awards program. And the biggest error came from the executives that decided to have Damon Wayans, host the 6th annual telecast. Wayans, who seemed under the influence, was unbearable, unenergetic, unfunny, and boring. He lacked the comedic style of Cedric the Entertainer, Steve Harvey; the grace of Monique; or even the entertaining skits that Will & Jada put on last year. Overall the show could've hosted itself. But that's not where the error stops.

Rapper, and BET Best Male Rap Artist winner, TI, had a performance marred with sound problems. The artist in true performer style went on with the orchestra accompanied version of "What You Know About That", which through the first half of the song had no background accompaniment. The sound just failed. The crowd tried to get into it. But the violin heavy arrangement was still missing the familiar bass line.

Diddy, would also fall victim to microphone failure; which continued when his BadBoy South act Young Joc took the stage to perform a short version of "It's Going Down". In good fashion Diddy made light of the failure and still showed that whether its high flying choreography or the latest down south snap, pop, shoulder lean, dip dance combo that he can still do it like no other.

The show had 3 highlights for me. The best performance Award for me goes to Busta Rhymes.

Not only did he get 6 of the 7 artists that were featured on his "Touch It" remix (missing only DMX), he also featured a unheard verse of Eminem. Busta puts on a show, and he made sure that his 2006 Club banger wouldn't be outdone ever. The BET Stage has seen many people on there at one time for one performance, but not everybody had a verse like this incident.

Best Concert Award: Goes to the Chaka Khan Tribute.

Now I say the tribute because Chaka, looked like her and Damon were sharing some of the same substances backstage. She didn't seem to command the stage like she is known for. She felt more comfortable turning the show over to her fellow performers in the likeness of Prince, Stevie Wonder, Yolanda Adams, and India Arie. Yolanda Adams for the first time I have seen singing secular music. And then singing "Sweet Thing" and "I'm Every Woman" better then Chaka could think about. Yolanda wailed on both songs, and showed that even gospel artists could be Divas.

Best Epileptic Performance: Goes to Beyonce'.

She killed it. She sounded great on the track. She looked great. The all girl band was sexy and showed you what Earth, Wind, & Fire would have looked like if they had been women. She gyrated all over the floor, flung her Diana Ross style hair-do and worked every part of the stage. Noticeably missing was her Bootylicious area. Ms. Knowles seemed to have made a deal with her personal trainer to trade in her Bounce for a Better Tummy. Her butt was definitely smaller, but the 6-pac was a little more defined. I guess she is trying to hold off on looking like her mother for a few more years. B's new single from her sophomore CD B-Day, "Deja Vu", is very deja vu for the BET Awards. She hit the stage a few years back with "Crazy in Love" with her then rumored man Jay-Z. This year seemed to be a little of the old saying "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Only difference was the clear butt pat that President Sean Carter gave Beyonce' during their opening performance.

Overall, the show was the weakest of the last six years. It just didn't seem to have BET's Star Power that they are always toting as their personal mantra. Maybe next year we can get Monique back. And lets see how much of Beyonce's performance she can duplicate next time.