The Day The World Stood Still

The irony of November 4th will always remain in my mind. On this day in the 2008th year After Christ; 332 years after the Declaration of Independence was signed and our governing body was officially created; an African-American man became President of the United States. Ironic, I say because it wasn't your usual definition of African-American. Majority of African-Americans (traditional) are not able to trace their heritage to their ancestors in Africa. We were not given the option to hold to our identity, to our history, to help shape a future steeped in remembrance. Nothing to help us weather the 400 year storm that would be the enslavement of Africans. I find it apropos that the first President of color be the son of a Kenyan father and Caucasian mother. A marriage if you will, of the quintessential cornerstone of the United States embodied. A nation built on the backs of Africans, and the misguided directives of newly declared independent Anglo-Saxons.

Our President is bi-racial. He is a color that I identify with on a personal level. He is articulate. He is an American that I am proud to say is someone I support. Not all of his policies but his ideologies. Barack Obama made the world stand still today. And because I was up at 5:30am I too helped changed the world today. No matter what happens or doesn't happen the United States changed today. The last color barrier has been shattered (+5% win is shattering in case you didn't know).

Now color withstanding a lot of work must be done. We all know that time is something that will tell, but patience and perseverance is what our President asks of us. "With great power comes great expectation." And no greater tasks exists then making sure that those millions of people that voted today help do their part in continuing to contribute and sway politics on all sides. Today it truly is our voice that was heard.

Michelle Obama mentioned that we can no longer live in fear of our decisions. I don't know if it is that fear that gives me chills as I listened to Obama's acceptance speech. That this man holds the dreams and hopes of so many, yet as shown from earlier attempts, his life is now and will always be in danger as not just the President of the United States but as a African-American man. The Plexiglass wall that shielded President Obama could not enclose thoughts of how depraved this world can be. That I don't want another negative blemish on the face of America. I do not want to relive my parents anguish of the assassination of MLK, JFK, or even my own personal association of seeing the World Trade Center Towers taken down. Those days of the world standing still are over.

President Obama is here! Let us rejoice! Seeing him on stage reminds me of the movie Deep Impact. When Morgan Freeman's Presidential portrayal gave his speech of rebuilding, I couldn't help but again be reminded of the irony of tonight's address. It was the last few minutes of a great epic movie. Where the American spirit perseveres, thrives, succeeds, even in the face of imminent disaster. His eloquence in his speech brought tears to eyes. The story of Ann Nixon who President Obama's speech included is History. HIS STORY. OUR STORY. The progress that we have made. That we are making. And that we will continue to make. So stand still as the credits roll. Take in the moment that we get to live in today. That story will forever be embedded in the fabric of this nation and this world. Listen to the music play, the faces of the Obama family, the Biden family, the supporters, the parties in the streets, the lines of people voting, the speeches, the parodies, the moment in 2004 where a Keynote Address speaker transitioned from Junior Senator to Leader of the Freeworld. Listen as African ancestors finally get to rest in peace. Truly. Stand still. And realize the world too is standing. Waiting for change.

Motivation

At the gym last week I recognized there are different things that motivate people. Some are self-motivated. As if we can see what we look like while panting on treadmill at level 5 we will agree that we are out of shape and that we never want to look like that person in the mirror again. Others get amped up by the After Pictures. That is what I call the gym bunnies or muscle dudes walking around with the least amount of workout attire allowable. They represent what we want to look like, areas that we need to work on, a visual message of you can look like me if you keep working out. What I would like to come with After Pictures (AP) are bios and Before Pictures (BP). Like if an AP used to be 50lbs overweight and now has 3% body fat I am going to be on every machine that they get on. Maybe not as long or as heavy but that's motivation to some.

I like to be the best. At everything. Or at least better then most people. The air of competition drives me most of the time. Perfect example: I was at the gym running on the treadmill and my goal was to consistently run for 5 miles in less then an hour. I do it about three times a week. Well today Gym Bunny Suzie (the name I came up with her in my head) gets on the treadmill next to me. Needless to say she cranks it up to 8. Blonde hair, little chest, and even smaller butt start bouncing on the machine. I like to keep my towel over the time so that I can't tell how far I have to go or how many minutes I have been running. Time for me is not motivation. But Suzie is just running along. And not even sweating. Soon I look over at her digital reading and she has caught up with me. Well not to be outdone I cranked up the juice on my treadmill. Now I never noticed Suzie look over at my progress or dripping sweat everywhere or even acknowledge that I had non-verbally entered her into my track and field competition but she beat my ass. Like Jamaica versus the US. What I didn't realize was during our race I was breathing right, swinging my arms, and pacing my steps that I ended up burning more calories and finishing my 5 miles just under 50 minutes. MOTIVATION!

So what motivates you? A word of encouragement? Seeing someone do better than you? A set goal? I believe we should make realistic goals, but don't but time stamps on them. Especially when they concern physical activity. Do enough to make it noticeable to you. So when someone does notice it. You can tell them you should have seen your Before Picture.

JUST IN

Just IN! Just IN! Just IN!

Some of you don't know it but I loved a man.

I loved a brother.

Not in love, like everythng is all happy and gay.

No; love like there isn't anything in this world I wouldn't do for you love.

Just IN...the world doesn't hold it's wonder for me without you.

Just IN...13 is an unlucky number

22 is unforgettable

And 19 lifetimes can't replace this one.

Just IN...I want to have a son.

A little boy with a big-head and a bigger heart so that I can call him by your name.

Justin; my godbrother; brother in GOD; I looked up to you.

And days don't pass without me still looking up.

Just IN...forward progress with unknown steps is scary.

I can't do this alone.

We can't do this alone.

So GOD if you could spare him for a little while to help us heal

I'll be waiting at the airport by new arrivals looking for his flight to say JUST IN.

In Memory of

Justin A. Winstead

November 19, 1982 - July 13, 2004

Happy Secretary's Day (Belated)

Is it a general requirement for all secretaries, receptionists, and administrative assistants to be mean and spiteful. You know the kind that won't call to the back to find out if you had an appointment. If it isn't in their books you don't matter. The same ones that will make you wait in the doctors office and tell you he will be right with you. Stop lying. Just say he is busy, backed up, eating lunch, doing the other receptionist, and will be out in a while.

They huff and puff on the phone when you ask them to give the party you are trying to reach a message. It's your job like it or not. Stop taking shit out on people so damn early in the morning. You can't be that pissed off at 8am. And if you are fake it. Stop inflicting your infectious, hateful demeanor on those you encounter throughout the day. Oh, and you know you aren't busy at your desk. We know you are emailing your coworker down the hall about America's Next Top Model or where you want to eat for lunch.

I know your job is important. I am not trying to take that away from any of you. Without you you could potentially stop the flow of an office's whole day. Just apply a little bedside manner. Smile when I come through the door. Do not scowl and tell me to have a seat before I even tell you what I am here for. No one ever gets promoted from administrative assistant to CEO. Be nice. It goes a long way.

50 First Dates

Needless to say I'm picky when it comes to dating. So when you ask what I like I can't give you just one answer to sum it up. That does not mean I am indecisive. I've just got my standards as well as stoplights, warning signs, and baggage claim checks that must be reviewed. But I'm thinking I might need to advise my advisors that my life of speed dating is making me wary.

Potential candidates must be: Short kind of tall; slim kind of thick; brown kind of yellow; smart kind of intelligent (no variance there).

Not very hard I think. Overall I am tired of starting over. As every different date I go on I answer the same questions. Imagine how many times I get asked when is your birthday? Favorite Food? Where I am originally from? What I'm looking for in this dating scene? What movie should we see? Restaurant to eat? Where to pick you up or meet? My place or yours?

I feel like I should be submitting a cover letter with resume. Because I am sick of interviewing for a job that I sometimes don't want or that you think I am not qualified enough for. Ultimately I just want someone to share my day with. I'm looking forward to second dates, third trips to your favorite vacation spots. Being recognized by your favorite cousin at their wedding. You coming through my bedroom door a set of keys in your hand because you have it like that. No longer screening phone calls from dates gone awry who didn't get the message that they have been replaced. Not even replaced a 1st date means that further follow-up information was needed before meeting with other applicants.

I've made compromises lowering my bar thinking it might be me. Only to wonder if I can fit out the window in the bathroom. Get my friend to call with an "emergency". Or to slide my arm from under your head without waking you up. No one likes being rejected. And others don't know how to reject respectively.

You are not my type. I'm looking for someone (fill in the blank). Oh my friend said you looked different. I have no job. I live with my mama. Do you have money to pay for your half? I'm not exactly single. I'm gay.

Some extremes are not worth exploring. But ultimately how creative do you think I am to come up with 50 Original First Dates? How many first times do I have to see the same movie? Add some explanation next to your name in my phone so that I know which _____ I am calling? How many times do I have to wake up every morning and meet someone new?


Here's to 51.


To the comments that might come or not. Often we say date and meaning something else. It's like the word love. It's up to interpretation. For someone a date is a movie. A drink. Dinner. Some combinations of all three and many other variations. To others a date is a hookup. Or a mutual understanding between two that you are interested in repeating any of these actions. It is not a relationship. Nor does one date entitle you to anything other then potentially a second date. And more common then not people date more then one person at one time. Hopefully you are not on date number 5 with three different people, but hey if you have the time do you. It's called considering your options. I have realized that I am becoming a serial dater. That's coming to an end. I read this line in response to a different topic but it still holds relevance.

"I wonder if the core of the problem is that in our fear that we'll never find anyone and be lonely for the rest of our lives, we become too active in a process in which we should be more laid back, patient and passive."

Here is to a passive Staats. So when 51 does show up, maybe some of the cynicism will have ebbed away. Or at least he will have different questions to ask.

Transparency

Allow me to be naked; stripped down if you will.
Unable to say what's on my mind I want you to witness me...complete transparency.
I'm a little out of practice,
A little out of shape
So please excuse the nudity.
Because this feeling that I shouldn't be feeling...
Is
This
Love
?

'Before I lock my love away, excuse me let me testify...You've accused me of a, you've accused me of a...'

You've accused me of a crime that I readily admit to.
But admonishment does not beget absolution.
My guilty plea is me telling you I would do it again.
Don't let me off on a technicality
Because my non-conviction would result in a Doubly Jeopardy.
I'll take Infidelity for $1000 Alex.
My wager everything that I don't have.
Just humbly hoping that by barterng my love
You can help make it valuable again
And not clear.
Transparently so.
Lit up by an overhead projector.
With words written on it.
Magnified.
Transposed for all to see.

'Before you lock my love away...'

Excuse me while I am transparent.



© April 2008
Staats

Top 10: Are You a Jump Off?

A la David Lettermen's Top Ten Reasons...

Was talking with some friends and the question came up what constitutes a jump off? Or what are some signs that you aren't really dating someone you are just their sex partner? And that is basically the definition of a

JUMP OFF (adj.) : to be only a sexual object. (see also, One Night Stand, Cut Buddy, BUDDY, etc.)



The Top 10 signs that you are/might have been/or are currently someones jump off...

10. All the pictures in their place are turned down when you come over.
9. If you don't know their last name.
8. If every "date" has been at your house and involves alcohol.
7. If they are always have naked when you come over, or you don't wear underwear when you go out.
6. You haven't met any of their friends or family and you've been "dating" for over six months.
5. There are multiple toothbrushes in the bathroom and none of them are yours.
4. They refer to your "dating" situation as "just kicking it", or "oh we are just cool".
3. If you have never spent the night.
2. If they only call you or return your phone calls after 12am and before 6am.

And the #1 sign you you are a jump off is...

1. You aren't bothered by the empty condom wrappers in the trash can when you come over.

All That Glitters...

IS NOT GOLD!!!!

Had to put that part in caps. I was having a conversation with a friend the other day about a woman he had hooked up with. Now he was telling me that she was so fine, and physically all that he wanted in a woman. He had been lusting over her for a long time and finally got the opportunity to sleep with her. Well it came at a very inconvenient time because it snowed up here in the Northeast the other day. And of course that was the night that she wanted him to come over. So with about 4 inches of snow already on the ground he hopped in his coupe (bad car in the snow) and made the normal 15 minute trip in about 40 minutes. After some awkwardness they proceeded to have sex. And within moments it was over. For her. The word my boy used to describe it was WACK. He said he has gotten more excitement with himself. The young lady wanted him to stay the night and wait for the snow plows. He said it would be fine that he would just retrace his tracks. I can't help but laughing as I type it, because life is set up with many tales like this. Not as sexual but in general.

Everything in life that glitters is not gold. Often we spend so much time putting someone on a pedestal that they are undeserving of. Their outward representative looks so enticing that we often lose temporary sense and do something that we wouldn't normally do or we are just so excited at the opportunity that we through caution into the wind. What looks too good to be true usually is. Me and my boy talked about mediocrity isn't necessarily the answer, but that most of our basic needs can be taken care of it. Some of us have had sexual encounters, hookups, one night stands with people that we would never want to be see out with. But they might take care of another need really well. Not saying to live in that mediocrity but perfection doesn't exist. No one gets all they want off of their physical/mental checklist when dating. So beware of all that glitters. FOOL'S GOLD IS AROUND IN ABUNDANCE.

F@#! That Valentine

If you are spending your money today on flowers, cards, and candy for the first time for your boo...you are officially a loser. And I am laughing at you while you try to bargain your way into a reservation at my restaurant. Because maybe you were unaware that its open 362 other days out the year. So learn to express your love for someone every day and not just Valentine's Day. It's not a holiday. It's Hallmark's Day. And I am not jealous of anyone. I'm very content with my choice of not celebrating something I think is so mundane. Valentine's Day to me is trendy, and I am the last person you will see doing the same thing that someone else is doing.

So fellas who have succumbed to the monotony of February 14th be prepared to buy the bouquets of flowers, chocolate covered whatevers, shrimp cocktail, lobster tails, and the bottle of wine...all to find out you still aren't getting any at the end of the night.

And ladies be content with your man for what he does for you not for what you think he should be doing, so what your coworker got Callililles delivered to the job, and your homegirl got a horse and carriage ride, be happy that someone wakes up and says I love you. And it's not just your day either so get him something too. Ungrateful asses.

This is me every year. So don't think this is the cause of anything. Most of my friends know I haven't done anything for this faux holiday for years. It's just how I get enjoyment from it. Yes I believe in love. I just don't believe one day means I love you more then the last. If you want to contact me do you. I am out spreading my discourse and cynicism to the masses.

In the immortal bridge from Andre 3000's album The Love Below and the song "Happy Valentine's Day"...

F@#! That Valentine's, F@#! That, F@#! That Valentine, F@#! That Valentine's Day...

Staats' Top Ten

A la David Lettermen's Top Ten Reasons...a funny question came to mind when my roommate noticed I had a Band-Aid over my nipple. (Don't ask). Anyway I wondered...

What could be the top 10 reasons a man would have a Band-Aid over his nipple.

#10. Bacon flavored cologne and a pet German Shepard.
#9. To find out the hard way why men don't breast feed.
#8. A piercing job gone really bad.
#7. Someone triple dog dared you to see if it would stick to a frozen pole like in the Christmas Story.
#6. Trying to start a new Band-Aid trend like Nelly did.
#5. Overzealous girlfriend who is on a diet.
#4. To distract you that there are really three nipples on your chest.
#3. Ran out of Pasties.
#2. Couldn't remember the "Safe" word while playing with your Dominatrix.

And the #1 reason a guy might have a Band-Aid over his nipple...
In memory of Janet Jackson's Superbowl Halftime Show.

Just had to be silly. Enjoy the Superbowl.

I Choose You

Have you ever felt a little awkward as one of the few members of the wedding party that has to get up for the garter toss? You look back at people you have known for almost a decade and realize that most of them are either a Mr. & Mrs. or well on their way to being one. And time makes you have one of those flashback moments. It's like the ending of The Wiz. When Dorothy starts singing "Home" and all the people she loved and has come to love appear in the stars, that's how I felt. Only the song in my head and that the DJ was spinning to my soundtrack was "International Player's Anthem" by UGK ft. Outkast. That was the tiniest thought that I had while I watched my friend William Kennedy wed the former Latasha Lyons.

Rewind to North Carolina A&T State University in Greensboro, North Carolina. My life could have went in so many different directions if I hadn't met this kid from Fayetteville, NC by way of Chattanooga, TN. He was the first friend I made when I moved from Baltimore, MD. I was homesick by the end of Freshman Week, my roommate hadn't arrived yet, classed hadn't started, and I was filling out forms for Late Registration at Morgan State. I stumbled across the Union. And spades. And Will. And a few other brothers that would welcome me into their fold and nickname me Sisqo (the Bmore association, plus my bright shirt). Oh it was definitely a joke. Those were two things you had to be able to do to sit at a Spades table down there. Of course know how to play good, and to talk shit. Will a.k.a Bullethead was my running mate. We survived out of each others refrigerators, pockets, connects, closets, and rooms.

Fast forward 4 years to my move back to Greensboro, and once again sharing an apartment complex with my homie. Who happened to be living with the woman I had heard had tamed this WyldChild. That woman who would become the mother of his child. And on the first weekend of the new year became his wife. Eight years in the making. And all this flashed before my eyes as his wife-to-be came down the stairs. The CeCe Winans song "Alabaster Box" was song by a member of the choir, and I had heard the song before but never really listened to it. It talked of a broken woman giving her life to Christ and somehow also sang the song of Tasha joining her life with Will. And from Tasha's presence, to Will's emotion showing on his face, it was enough to move even the groomsmen to a tear. We had to avoid each others eyes as to not fully give into the spirit of the moment. But I was moved. And envious. And excited. And filled with happiness that I was asked to share this moment with two people so willing to give of themselves to stop becoming a "me" and become an "us".

The reception hall zooms back into focus as Andre 3000's voice comes over the speakers. And Will realizes that 'we got his back like chiropractic...now hurry hurry go on to the altar I know you ain't a pimp but pimp remember what I taught ya, keep your heart..." And you know what he turns and says to his wife before the speakers blow out...'I Choose You'.

Moments of Greatness

Me and some of my friends were partaking in some recreational fun and the conversation ensued that actually carried some content. One of them suggested that if I had trouble remembering what vital knowledge I was dispensing that I should invest in a digital voice recorder. I thought the idea was ingenious. How else would I remember my Moments of Greatness. That is what I have decided to call it. I believer under certain circumstances your brain relaxes and issues thoughts that are void of screening, pretense, subterfuge, and is on many levels profound. To others maybe not so much.



I made the comment that I felt more comfortable electing a President that also had recreational fun or at least used to. How else would they be able to save the world on a daily basis? Yes some of you are reading this and you are not comprehending. It's ok. It means you probably have never been Great and have nothing to compare. Proceed to the next blog entry. For those that have been Great you know what I am talking about. You may have cured cancer during this Greatness or came up with a way to bring about peace in the Middle East. Start recording your conversations. I'm going to give it a shot. Now I don't think recreational fun should be embarked upon on a regular basis, because then the moments would be less great. But every once in a while if you feel the desire to use more then 10% of your brain at one time, well think about having some fun. LOL.