80's Baby

I gave you fast times at Ridgemont High but never got Breakfast Club.
I was Wet, Wild & Crazy. You said I couldn't do that on television.
You taught me The Facts of Life. I gave you Head of the Class.
We Silver Spooned according to Webster's diction.
You wanted me to give you a break.
You faked the Good Times.
Made me introduce you a Perfect Stranger into my Family Matters.
I was your 80's Baby.
I worked blocks, found coins, rode clouds, climbed stairs, ate shrooms,
picked flowers, spit fire.
U still didn't give me 1up.
I made wishes Traded Places, Framed Rabbits, got Big,
and you still played Chopsticks better than me.
I Smurfed you. You fed me Duck Tales.
Gave you 13 Treasures you left me with 13 Ghosts.
Wanted to turn you into a Jem but you were content being a Misfit.
I tried to be your Prince Charming brush cinders from your umbrella.
I wanted to give you Venice villa. Wanted to be your Tramp.
You chose vaudeville act. A pauper the Land Before Time.
I was your 80's Baby.
Your Super Duper Double Looper.
I sang you songs from inside. You called me Teddy Ruxpin.
My mouth you broke but the words were still there.
I thought we would Never End. I implore you to remember me Bastion.
Can't you see I was your luck dragon. Betray you?
I gave you dip for your stick, chewed your bubbleyum,
loaned you quarters for water.
I wanted Now not Later.
As you kicked Earth at the idea, we wrote our names in Fire, simultaneously blew wind up my ass, drowned my love with Water, and when I showed you my Heart...
With our powers combined...I am still not your guy?
I'm your 80's Baby.
You fed me Ritalin. Yet you were the one with the Affection Deficit Disorder.
Dumbed everything down. Made it small. Benign.
All I wanted was forever. To resurge 30 years later fresher then ever.
But you don't remember the 80's like I do.
So when you're ready to turn back time thrice. Find a straight road.
Get up to 88mph.
Infiniti starts in 82.