Executive Dining

Ahhhh!!! The service industry. Yes, easily one of the oldest professions in history, yet its blue collar image has caused many to frown down upon this honorable position. Let’s face it. It’s one of those jobs that have to be done. Now, not to be confused with the fast food industry; waiting tables can be a very lucrative job. Often held by students and young adults, because of the flexible schedules and fast cash options, waiting tables is seen as a stepping stone or transition into another field. Everybody in their life time has dined at a restaurant; some better then others. But what often keeps a customer patronizing that particular restaurant has to do as much with food quality as it does service. So why is it that good service does not beget good tipping practices?



Upscale and fine dining establishments such as H20 in Washington, D.C, Dolce in Los Angeles, Justin’s in New York, or even the chain of Ruth’s Chris restaurants located all over the United States, have tipping practices that have gratuity already added into the customer’s bill. Many after hours cafes and diners also use this method as late night patrons may not be inclined to leave a significant amount for a tip. Well, before we analyze these practices, first a little education. For it is education on the idea of gratuity where I think we fail to completely understand each other. Previously, waiters and waitresses have had the luxury of having a job where the IRS cannot accurately determine how much money they make in tips. A new occurence to deter this has been the implementation of declaring tips. This concept is universal and takes place in many restaurants. Servers are given the option of claiming the amount of tips that they may have received in a shift, so that can be properly credited on their pay stub. Many restaurants have it where servers cannot claim anything less then what they have made in charge tips, everything else is based on the honor code. This honor code, many are not apt to hold up. Reason being, that majority of waiters and waitresses make a whopping total of $2.13 cent an hour. Half of minimum wage. The IRS has also added a portion into tax forms specifically for those that make majority of their wages in tips. So, if you don’t claim it they can’t track it. But that too also has its reprecussions and consequences.


Ok, back to the matter at hand. $2.13 an hour. Slave wages. With inflation and the economy doing all that it can to make sure the improverished stay that way, this cannot be an ample means to sustain most people’s lifestyles. Some restaurants go above and beyond to help guide the guest to what a suitable tip should be. Some Bonefish Grill restaurants, a subsidiary of the Outback Corporation, include a suggested gratuity of 18% percent that is printed by the total price of the meal. So let’s give you a few rules to follow the next time you decide to eat out.


Rule #1
If you are on an Executive Account (meaning you get reimbursed for your meal), or you have a Corporate Card, and the service is great. You should automatically tip 20%. It’s not your money and you can write it off.

Rule #2
Do not blur the line between a servers mistake and the Kitchen cook’s mistakes. Your waitress did not undercook your steak, so please don’t take it out on them.

Rule #3
10% gratuity is for bad service and bad service only. It is never ok to tip that low amount. 15% - 18% for decent service.

Rule #4
Always treat your server with the same respect that you would want to be treated. No yelling, no snapping fingers to get their attention, and definitely no grabbing.

Rule #5
If the restaurant closes at 11pm, then you need to leave no later then 11:30pm. Servers want to go home at the end of the night too. So please don’t walk into a restaurant at 10:58pm and expect for everybody to be happy.

It would be my wish that everybody on this Earth should have to wait tables at least one weekend to really get the experience that I am speaking about. As a former waiter I would never not leave a decent tip, because I know what they have to go through. So just keep that in mind.

The Single Man's Blues

I have the single man’s blues. Why is it that all of my friends from high school are having kids and getting married? Well some are actually doing it the traditional way by getting married and having kids, but I’m not knocking it. Anyway, I am sick and tired of being asked to be a godfather, a groomsmen, a bachelor party planner (well I like that part). All of it is just pissing me off. And it’s not like I don’t know the reason behind it, I just realized that its affecting me this way.



In the past 4 years I have not dated any woman of that marriage caliber. And I feel that I am in the minority when talking about this subject to my single male friends. I have a desire to be with one woman for the rest of my life, with little rugrats following in tow. I just don’t see it happening for me in the near future. Or any future for that matter.

And I am not saying this for any factual reason, its just the quality of women that I have chosen to date don’t make it past 3 months let alone enter into that lifetime category. So I live vicariously through my siblings who are married with kids, and I try to be the best uncle possible. But sometimes I feel reckless enough to allow thoughts of getting some random girlfriend pregnant just so that I can share in the joys of fatherhood. Now me being as responsible as I am, those thoughts are fleeting. Plus, I am allergic to baby-mama-drama. Nor, do I want to put my kids through that. I don’t know. I just been real mellow. I have a birthday coming up soon, and I just feel like I haven’t done anything to leave my mark on this world. I don’t feel sad…more like melancholy.

‘And since my sweetie left me hollow/Well it aint been the same old thing…/I know someone that lives there/And I know she won’t refuse/To put some music to my troubles and call them Harlem Blues’ -Cynda Williams, Mo Better Blues Soundtrack

Black Error Television Awards (remix)

I just realized the last post I put up here started off talking about the errors of the BET Awards. But I changed my thought pattern halfway through. Well as Diddy says, "This is the remix."

Here are a list of things that I could have done without seeing on the Awards program.

#1. Baby Mama Slob Down

I understand surprise performances and collabos. I am all for that on Award shows. Definitely a way to make things new and spice some things up. But when does spice become spoiled. I felt sick watching Fantasia and Jamie Foxx tounge wrestling on TV. And then she didn't even sing. She just Bobo'd across the stage and screamed into the mic.

#2. Stop Beating Around the Bush

Stop digging up old sitcom actors and actresses just to throw a twist into their little skits. Yes, we all have been dying to see Janet and her new and improved body (since her bounce back from the Fat Farm). What I didn't need was the Good Times cast, Strung Out, Where Have You Been, and Sickly. I mean JJ, Thelma, and Micheal. Although it was a nice way for lil Penny to make a comeback, I had flashbacks to Hot Iron marks. Next time let the 40-year old sex symbol have the stage to herself.

#3. X-Men 3: The Ghetto Storm

I don't know if I am more offended by Mary J. Blige screaming for 46 seconds, or the fact that she looked like a ghetto superhero in her catsuit, knee high Power Ranger boots, and half a pony attached to her head. Yes, I've never been a Mary J. fan. Some might even call me a hater. But didn't she look like she was about to take off in flight to fight crime. Maybe that's her mutant power, scream and screech, until you turn the channel.

#4. Check 1, Check 2...

"My mic sound right, check one...my mic sound right, check two...my mic sound right, check three...are you ready"
...NO!!!
Sound checks are so that we can work out kinks, like microphones working. CD's being cued to the right spot. And that all backups are ready. So what happened during TI's performance. Now you wish you had a five minute delay don't you. Now BET just looks bootleg. And it has nothing to do with the venue. Its the Kodak Theatre. You didn't see this kind of foolishness during the American Idol Finale.

#5. The Original Metro

PRINCE! What else do I need to say. This dude had on some shoe boots, a purple pant suit, a matching purple neck scarf, flawless make-up, and his hair was flowing. Yeah, I'm still talking about a dude. I mean his hair looked better then half the women in the audience. Ladies, step your game off. Those women out there with original style like Kelis, that makes you Bossy. But until you float around the stage, and your hair doesn't move, you are nowhere near Prince. LOL.

Black Error Television Awards 2006

Black Error Television, should have been the name of last night's awards program. And the biggest error came from the executives that decided to have Damon Wayans, host the 6th annual telecast. Wayans, who seemed under the influence, was unbearable, unenergetic, unfunny, and boring. He lacked the comedic style of Cedric the Entertainer, Steve Harvey; the grace of Monique; or even the entertaining skits that Will & Jada put on last year. Overall the show could've hosted itself. But that's not where the error stops.

Rapper, and BET Best Male Rap Artist winner, TI, had a performance marred with sound problems. The artist in true performer style went on with the orchestra accompanied version of "What You Know About That", which through the first half of the song had no background accompaniment. The sound just failed. The crowd tried to get into it. But the violin heavy arrangement was still missing the familiar bass line.

Diddy, would also fall victim to microphone failure; which continued when his BadBoy South act Young Joc took the stage to perform a short version of "It's Going Down". In good fashion Diddy made light of the failure and still showed that whether its high flying choreography or the latest down south snap, pop, shoulder lean, dip dance combo that he can still do it like no other.

The show had 3 highlights for me. The best performance Award for me goes to Busta Rhymes.

Not only did he get 6 of the 7 artists that were featured on his "Touch It" remix (missing only DMX), he also featured a unheard verse of Eminem. Busta puts on a show, and he made sure that his 2006 Club banger wouldn't be outdone ever. The BET Stage has seen many people on there at one time for one performance, but not everybody had a verse like this incident.

Best Concert Award: Goes to the Chaka Khan Tribute.

Now I say the tribute because Chaka, looked like her and Damon were sharing some of the same substances backstage. She didn't seem to command the stage like she is known for. She felt more comfortable turning the show over to her fellow performers in the likeness of Prince, Stevie Wonder, Yolanda Adams, and India Arie. Yolanda Adams for the first time I have seen singing secular music. And then singing "Sweet Thing" and "I'm Every Woman" better then Chaka could think about. Yolanda wailed on both songs, and showed that even gospel artists could be Divas.

Best Epileptic Performance: Goes to Beyonce'.

She killed it. She sounded great on the track. She looked great. The all girl band was sexy and showed you what Earth, Wind, & Fire would have looked like if they had been women. She gyrated all over the floor, flung her Diana Ross style hair-do and worked every part of the stage. Noticeably missing was her Bootylicious area. Ms. Knowles seemed to have made a deal with her personal trainer to trade in her Bounce for a Better Tummy. Her butt was definitely smaller, but the 6-pac was a little more defined. I guess she is trying to hold off on looking like her mother for a few more years. B's new single from her sophomore CD B-Day, "Deja Vu", is very deja vu for the BET Awards. She hit the stage a few years back with "Crazy in Love" with her then rumored man Jay-Z. This year seemed to be a little of the old saying "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Only difference was the clear butt pat that President Sean Carter gave Beyonce' during their opening performance.

Overall, the show was the weakest of the last six years. It just didn't seem to have BET's Star Power that they are always toting as their personal mantra. Maybe next year we can get Monique back. And lets see how much of Beyonce's performance she can duplicate next time.

Blessed and Highly Favored

Today the prodigal son made his long awaited return to church. It has been the first time that I have set foot in a church in over 6 months. 7 months to be exact. For no other reason then me not doing what I needed to make sure I was up on Sunday mornings.

Nonetheless, today all roads were leading to some religious edifice. The duality of the day can't help but be noticed. On my drive the weather was not good nor was it bad. On side of the sky offered a bright and clear display; the other half was dark and pregnant with heavy rain clouds. Almost if GOD Himself was welcoming me back home, but at the same time telling me that His House should be a first choice and not a last resort.

Do I think that this is my last resort? I seem to have a habit of letting the devil take so much out of my life, before I remember that GOD is consistently working on me. That all I have to do is call on him. I am like that guy with a new car. Yeah it looks all shiny and brand new, and even has a indicator that tells me when gas is getting low. Well I was treating GOD and my spirituality as that gas. I had filled up on church with the last great blessing in my life, and felt that I had enough to hold me over. Well, my gas light came on a few months ago. I ignored it and kept on driving, trying to get the most out of my buck. Well, even with a new car if you drive your car on fumes it can hurt the car and its engine. If you read about my nervous breakdown earlier then you realized my car almost seized and stopped completely. I realize I was spiritually empty. I needed a recharge. And the recharge I needed required me to attend church and pray just to pray, not only when I needed something. I kept ignoring GOD's warnings to come to him in prayer. I was too caught up in my own life.

The pastor today mentioned that if you are going to fall, don't fall for something so easy. At least put up a fight. He mentioned that your favor comes not in the form on money, but a blessing that is more abundant then any amount of money. Long story short, I go to a luncheon, that I am late for after church, and I am talking to one of my coworkers. Now this coworker was the first person in Greensboro to invite me to church with him. And we are talking about school, and my trials and tribulations. Well he then casually mentions that he made a pledge to his church to donate $250 dollars to help college students buy books. He offered to pay for my book for my summer course. Right there. Not one hour from when I left church. That's how fast GOD worked in my life. He didn't have a check waiting for me. HE sent me a message through an avid church-goer, a friend of mine, that all I had to do was come to HIM in prayer. And the pastor mentioned to know the difference between favor and something you forced to happen. Had it this offer come from anybody else I might have seen it as something I was willing to happen, but a man that knew my heart, and knew my faith, and listened to my story helped me help myself. So today is a great day.

So yes I am still driving that car. But this car is a different one. It's an electric. It requires me to come home and plug in to recharge. In other words I need to stay plugged into GOD and HIS word for HIM to work things out in my life. And that HE needs to be my first choice and not my last resort. Because not only am I blessed to have people in my life that are working on me as well, I am also highly favored.

Insecurities

Handle with care; Contents are extremely fragile
Should be the label on my forehead
Should warn you that on the outside I have it all together
But on the inside I can't tell my up from down.
But I do know I love you
But I have more then issues
I have subscriptions.
And the subscription is to Insecurity Magazine.
But I want you to read me.

Learn about the nuances and idiosyncrasies of me.
I want you to look at the advertisements.
See past the torn pages or folded corners.
Past my everyday wear and tear.
The words still say the same thing.
They just are a little harder to read.
I want you to read me; write letters to the editor.
Skim, the table of contents.
Find articles that make you laugh.
Pictures, that make you smile.
Editorials that make you think.
But understand I am a work in progress.
My content could be clearer if I had better subjects.
I am a product of my environment.
An archive of failure and success.
I am a Rubix Cube made of crystal.
All jumbled up, complex, fragile, but fixable.
Play with me, Turn me, Flip me, Look at me, Learn me.
But don't break me.

Handle with care.
Although I'm transparent, don't look right through me.
Everything isn't all cut and dry, until all the pieces are in the right order.
Confusion brought to clarity.
And what's clear is that I love you.
But I have more then issues.
I have subscriptions.
And the subscription is to Insecurity Magazine.
But I want you to read me.
So Ma'am, how long do you want to sign up for?

© April 2006
Staats

A Tale of Two Beautiful Minds

How is it that a writer is just getting to this point to start a blog? And on top of being a writer, I also like to talk alot. Again, another point that should have led to creating this a long time ago. Regardless of those reasons or any others that may come to mind I am starting this blog to chronicle my neurosis. I have come to the conclusion that I have suffered a severe emotional/nervous breakdown in the last two weeks. And of course the health insurance that is provided by my job does not cover pyscho-therapy. Let me start from the beginning...

A vacation is supposed to be just that a vacation. I indulged in one of these a few weeks ago. It was a vacation to see my family. Living in North Carolina only provides me with the emotional support that I allow my "friends" and associates to prescribe. True support comes from those that share a bloodline, that want to see you succeed with no alterior motives. But family can also press on you emotionally. For those that know me, and will get to know me I am not the most emotionally stable person in the world. But it works for me. My trip home brought up some insecurities that I didn't realize were still around. And as the India Arie song says, "No one has the power to hurt you like your kin."

My trip to Philly gave me the greatest experience to see my younger cousin graduate from high school. This guy is so much like me its scary. Seeing him graduate, meeting my sister's new husband, entertaining relatives, and friends is emotionally draining. But I enjoyed every bit of it. The instability found its foothold in my life through the 5-hour drive from Baltimore to Greensboro. That's a lot of time to be in a car with your worst enemy. Me. A good friend told me that I am my own worst enemy. That I allow outer influences to control my thought process, which starts an internal war. And trust me my mind is not the setting I want for World War III.

I have created in my mind two personas. One, that acquiesces to everyone and everybody. I am the poster child for someone that has it all together. I am articulate, intelligent, funny, amusing, thoughtful, nice, and honest to name a few things. This persona, we will refer to as Status. Status is fun to be around. He's even-tempered, very rarily shows any negative emotions. He always has a shoulder for people to lean on, and even when both shoulders are occupied, he has a spare pair so don't get worried. Status, smiles at work. Tap dances around his boss, all the while feeling like he is trying to place in the Field Negro Olympics. Status is liked by all...

Then there is Staats. Staats has been pushed down so far, that he doesn't really have a good clue as to who he is. But he does know who he would like to be. Free. Free to do what he wants. Say whats on his mind. To tell his boss to go to hell when he asks me a question that he should obviously know the answer to, since he is the boss. (Although, I've been there longer then him). To tell his friends, that yes you have issues, but I have my own subscriptions to deal with. And sorry I would like to be a willing participant in your pity party, but I just can't today. To tell people NO. No I will not listen, not help, not come get you, take you, buy you, sex you, go with you, indulge whatever you want to do. Today is about me. Selfish is what Staats wants. He hears the word spoken all the time, just never takes the opportunity to use it. To do things for self. Staats and Status had a fight, and for a while Staats threw a wrench into Status' world. Status was mean, surly, hateful, vengeful, overall unpleasant to be around. And this was evident to many people. But Staats was calling the shots. Repression is a bitch. I feel like their are two people in my head trying to guide my actions.

Today, well today I think I have things under control. I think. I have four new gray hairs thanks to my meltdown. But I don't think my problems are anywhere near being solved. I have been able to keep a healthy balance, or so I thought, for years. I can't go down this dark road again. Won't allow it. Honestly, I don't think Staats or Status can exist at the same time in my head. I am going to have to figure out who Staats is, and stop hiding behind Status' mask.

Soulmates

SOULMATES

Some cultures believe that for every person you are intimate with
You give them a piece of your soul.
So me being promiscuous, does that make me soulless.
Are there women walking around with my happiness?
My artistic talent, my wit, my drive.
All those I could do without.
But can I find the woman that has my stability.
Can I trade back that one encounter, one lustful rendezvous, one meaningless night.
For a moment of peace.
Not a tangible piece, but genuine peace.
Over 100 pieces of my soul divided,
Multiplying emotional stress but still leaving me empty.
Void. Troubled. Not even half a man.
I have nothing to give of any substance
I have no soul to offer my mate.
I have no conscious to stop me from bed hopping.
I have no more pieces of me to give.
I have been rubbed raw emotionally.
Where the good and the bad hurt,
Where the hurt hurts so much its blinding.
Where you just want to end it all.
But question:
Where does a man with no soul go when he dies?

© June 2006
Staats