I Am

One year later I am falling
Not from 105th street, but from the 105th floor
I am falling not to my death, but to my life
I am the firefighter who’s only hope is to help people as the WORLD falls at my feet
I am a worker down the street looking at a movie cause all I see is black and white.
As my modern day nuclear winter rains down on New York City my mind flashes to scenes from Independence Day
And I wonder will 9/11 ever give me any freedom from the hold that it has taken on the world.
I am strapped in my seat belt on American Airlines thinking if I die today will it prevent others from dying tomorrow.
I am Scarface saying ‘I never seen a man cry until I seen a man die.’
I am Jay-Z and I can’t see them coming down my eyes but I got to make this poem cry.
I am the brother who can’t tell my sister I’m sorry for the fight last night
The father who will ever see my son become the man I know he can be
I am the son conceived without my Dad ever knowing and me never knowing him.
I am the family member who is tired of being exploited by a fascist game of chest, as if I’m the pawn for America.

Pawn takes Rook, America Strikes Back
Knight takes Pawn, a college student in the reserves shipped off to Iraq.
Queen to castle, flags, berets, calendars, World Trade Center paraphernalia a capitalist society capitalizing on a country’s heartache and pain.
King advances to King, Bush to Hussein press forward ready to bring the Free World to its knees.
One move to checkmate, one move to Armageddon.
I am the spirit of peace to the soul of a broken world, embodied in the children and family of those lost.
I am strength where a nation threatens to fall.
I am a celebration of life.
I am a college student, 19 years old, late for class, turning on my TV thinking I left the channel on HBO, because America is on
Fire and the world is holding its breath.
And it can’t be real.
I am a son waiting by the phone for my father to call.
You know he still works down the street from the Pentagon.
One year later I still am.

© September 2002
Staats

What's In A Name?

Why bother to get to know me?
While introducing yourself does my appearance immediately appear too strong?
You've already decided that my curly hair against dark brown skin is too aggressive.
So when you hear my non-traditional name you look for ways to emasculate me.
My name is not pretty.
It is strong, bold, if anything handsome.
My name is not different or weird.
It is unique, uncommon, a not ur average moniker.
Do not look for ways to trivialize my existence.
I am not to be watered down as to suit your palette.
I will not fit in your box of how I should look, act, or sound.
My name is what it is.
And it defines me.
Don't try to familiarize it with something you've heard before.
Nor try to rhyme it with the 1st thing that comes to mind.
You won't hear it in a Dr. Seuss scheme or find it on a key chain.
If I say every syllable so you can hear the phonetics in it
You claim that you aren't slow.
So why do you keep referring to the indentation after the 'e' as an asterisk?
It's an accent.
To bring emphasis to the fact that you are unaware of my complexity.
Do not give me nicknames, abbreviations, or massacre who I am.
What does a man have but his name?
It is not urban, African, have any mystic connotation.
It is me.
And without my full name you will never really know me.
Deonte'.

Staats
© September 2006

Is $315 Dollars Worth Your Soul?

I know that this is not going to be everyone's favorite topic. But since when do I write to please others. I do it for me. I wrote this piece a long time ago. Seven years to be exact, so those that might have chosen this route. God bless you and I hope you have healed or are in the process of healing from this life lesson.


This is the question that too many teenagers and young adults, more so high school and college students, have to ask themselves on a daily basis. To abort or not to abort? It's not a question but a reality more often then necessary. Abortion, many cases being the product of irresponsibility and people not dealing with the consequences of their actions. We live in a world that tries to shortcut a problem, and think that they come to a correct solution. When in fact that thought process is what has resulted in 1.2 million abortions a year. Over one million mistakes? The thing about being a mistake is that after it has been done once, it shouldn't happen again. "We made a mistake," is no longer an acceptable excuse. Those of us that are supposed to be support systems are as guilty as those that commit the act. Think you are removed from the situation, lets try a scenario:

You see a woman going into a dorm room/apartment/house with your friend, the same woman your friend said he was going to "give it to". You then realize this is the same guy that said he doesn't use condoms, because he has never got a woman pregnant before. A few weeks later the woman is missing class/work/functions because she's too "sick" to leave her place. She's pregnant. You know it, she knows it, and your friend knows it. But it isn't any of your business when you find out that she is going to get rid of the baby. You even tell your friend to hand his business, and that no woman is worth losing his scholarship/job/comfortable life over.

Remember that beginning part, is $315 dollars worth your soul? Better yet is $315 worth the life of anybody. Common said it best with, "From now on I'mma use self-control instead of birth control." It isn't worth it. For those other there handling yours, good for you. No, you don't deserve an award, what you need is a soapbox for you to get up on and preach to those headed down the same path that you once travelled. Truthfully, how many of us are ready to be a parent? I'm not. And looking back on my life, I'm just lucky that God also decided that He didn't want me to somebody's parent.

Think back for a minute on your past sexual history. Has there been anyone in that history that you would want as the mother or father of your child. Some of us don't even talk to the people that we've engaged sexually. She's not the woman your momma wanted you to bring home, nor the guy that your Dad wanted to see with his daughter. But fellas, let's be real; if the girl you got pregnant, be it your girlfriend or just some random girl, and wanted to abort the baby would you try to stop her? Probably not. I would. I couldn't live with the thought of killing my son, my daughter, just so I can go out and make the same mistake again with somebody else. Or on a larger scale, kill off the next President of the United States, the doctor that finds a cure to cancer, or helps repair the ozone layer. A child is not a burden and should never be considered such.

In some cases having a child forces the parents to grow up. It's almost a test, to see if you'll step up to the plate of responsibility. Many choose to be a base runner, so that they can play the field and try to win at life without ever swinging a bat. As a baseball player can you live without ever hitting a ball? As a person could you live with yourself if you killed your unborn child? I do believe there are certain instances where the rules should be bent. This is a very sick world that we live in, where molestation, rape, and incest happen more often then they ever should. But I am pro-life.

Some people aren't ready to be parents. I'm not. But if you're not use common sense and a little thing called restraint. You don't have to "poke" everything in a skirt. Or ladies you don't have to get everything in a nice car or with money in their pockets. And ladies "it's too many Black women that can say they mothers, but can't say that they wives." So the next time you encounter a brother with a child, give him the time of day. That child tells you what is in that man's soul. Don't worry about a ready made family or the baby's mother. That man isn't just a man, but a father single or not. He is responsible, dedicated, committed, and someone that can be counted on. At least in one little person's eyes. Every one makes mistakes, but he didn't. That child isn't a mistake, the conception of that child wasn't a mistake. God doesn't make mistakes. And that child is God's definition of that man.

"I don't wanna, go through the drama of having a baby's momma/
Weekend visits and buying' J's ain't gonna make me a father/
For a while bearing a child is somethin' I never wanted to do/
For me to live forever I can only do that through you/
Nerve I got to talk about them niggas with guns/
Must have really thought I was God to take the life of my son."

-excerpts from Common's "Retrospect for Life" featuring Lauryn Hill.

People Don't Dance No More...

...All they do is... Snap

Yes, I'm guilty of listening and enjoying what is the emerging leader in Hip-Hop and R&B jams from the south labeled "Snap Music." But secretly I am awaiting the downfall of the ever catchy dance craze that is sweeping the urban community and saturating it with non-dancing club-hoppers.

It didn't occur to me until I was at Club 112 in Atlanta (the home of Snap Music), this past February how ridiculous it is to see hundreds of people doing the same synchronized dance. Stuff like that is only supposed to happen in movies. No one outside of couples are doing the exact same dance at the same time. Unless you are down in the "A" listening to pre-release of Goin' Down by Young Joc, the newest member of BadBoy South. Before the hit song made its way smoking on a midnight train from Georgia, the snap dance could also be seen mixed in with many of the city's other natives. Groups such as D4L and southern rivals Dem Franchise Boys had previously been battling privately and over the radio airwaves, with songs such as "Lean With It, Rock With It", "Shake Your Laffy Taffy", and "Betcha Can't Do It Like Me", giving verbatim instructions as to how to best do their dance.

Other Southern artists realized they were witnessing the latest shift in power in the Hip-Hop community. Not since Bass Music and the Bankhead Bounce had the south gained crossover appeal from the more dominant East Coast and West Coast styles of Hip-Hop. Soon the females of the ATL jumped on the bandwagon with lady like versions of how to Snap. Cherish's smash hit "Do It To It" was choreographed with ease just bouncing and snapping away, only to be followed up by Monica's "Everytime The Beat Drops". If you aren't sure what songs are snap songs, just listen to the background of any radio friendly song. In a hours time you should hear at least three songs, that have snaps to emphasize a point or to add to the chorus. The motto: The beat has to be hot, but the snap has to be hotter.


A visit to Los Angeles last month, showed me how strong of a hold it had over the nation. And it hadn't just ended with the snap. The Motorbike (made infamous by the Young Joc video) which is exactly what it sounds like someone imitating they are revving the engine on a motor bike has managed to strike out as the number 2 dance craze. Only to be followed closely with the "Shoulder Lean" perfected by two other Atlanta natives, T.I. and Young Dro. Despite the popularity of such shows as So You Think You Can Dance, or the popular teen movie Step Up that stresses the beauty of all dance forms, I don't think this is what they had in mine. Those that excelled in the two step are cheering all the way to the dance floor. Creativity is now being frowned upon. Finding yourself at any club not going along with the crowd when these songs drop is tantamount to Hip-Hop treason. Not only do you stick out like a sore thumb, but you also are blocking someones hand that is trying motorbike or snap in your direction.

Now before you jump on my case, like I said I enjoy the music. The beats although simplistic are entertaining. And sometimes a little snap here or there is okay. But people exercise moderation. Every song isn't a snap song. Or something you shoulder lean into. When pop acts start mimicking your style its time to give it up. Not to break an already great mold, Diddy the creative mind behind MTV's Making The Band 3 group, Danity Kane, teamed up his lovely lady ensemble with their labelmate Young Joc for another stirring rendition of who can snap better on the groups first single "Showstoppin'". The format has also changed time zones with Chicago's newest boy group One Chance, that appear on Usher's new label, featuring their first single "Look at Her" featuring Fabo from D4L snapping away.

One more thing before I go. "Chicken Noodle Soup"?!? Chicken Noodle Soup with a Soda on the side? I must say I prefer snapping to someone kicking me in the club as they are "getting it", as the song instructs. Can Cee-Lo please take a break from Gnarls Barkley and return to Goodie Mob. Just so that they can do a remix.

"Because people don't dance no more, all they do is this..." Snap.

Change The Station

you think that Right Here is Where I Wanna Be?
Can't You See i'm a Star?
i Shine so brightly in the sky that hubble will have to wear Stunna's
just to avoid Damaged lenses.
but rather then Showstoppin' I'm out here Hustlin'.
tryna make a dollar out of 15 cents (a dime and a nickel).
Round-n-Round I go Patiently Waiting for Happy Hour.
serving round and rounds of liquid absolution.
i wonder Whatchu Lookin' 4?
it's not Down Bottom of the glass.
trust me i've already checked.
How Does It Feel to be Torn between doing What You Want?
and doing what other's Tell Me.
It Seems Like I'm Ready to make another change.
But it's this One Thing that keep's me here
in this land of green that is as barren as any desert.
If i could just Snap My Fingers or make One Wish to change my fortune I would.
i pray for serenity, but She Keeps On Passing Me By.
i have to realize she's not my Superwoman.
that my problems are tangible.


someday's Nothing Even Matters at all.
i feel like i can Touch The Sky.
and end up Floating on Cloud 9.
but it eventually it All Falls Down
like the Rain outside my window.
Can You Stand It?
the pressure of the Impossible.
it's an everyday occurrence when i start my day.
a regular Deja Vu.
only today i'm quitting.
telling them that This Is For My People.
i will no longer hasten to your call
no longer Smile or answer to your Oh Boy cry for service.
i may be Down But Not Out.
not by a long shot.
i have purpose.
and nah, I Ain't Mad At Cha,
but RESPECT is something everybody deserves.
and i'm Everyday People just like you.
yeah, even Me Too.
but I won't wait until Next Lifetime to finally get a piece of the pie.
i want it now.
this is my survival story.
and Sometimes I just get to thinking.
feel like A Long Walk
On My Own.
thing see a little bit clearer now that the rain is Gone.
still waiting on my bright Sun Shiny Day.


© August 2006
Staats

20 Questions

Excuse me Miss, but can I offer you some companionship?
You know a companion?
Someone to keep you company?
Share a cup of coffee; some conversation.
No, not looking for a relationship.
Wouldn’t know how to deal with one.
See, I’m damaged goods,
I’ve been broken and I’m still tryna put the pieces together.
What do you want to know?
I’m ready for the Q&A.
Are you ready for the answers?
Fantasy is what people want, but reality is what they need.
As long as you don’t ask we can still keep this easy fantasy.

Who am I?
I’m an addict.
Been addicted to the same thing for 5 years.
Didn’t realize it was an addiction until today.
Got told that I looked tired.
The way they said tired, I felt they were talking about my spirit.
My fascination with my addiction matured into a realization
Really it was my perversion.
Twisted images making a slow motion picture.
Sorry, I’m putting too much on you.
More questions?

Where have I been?
To everywhere and nowhere.
Past then, forward to never, here to now.
I’ve been someone’s companion, someone’s company before.
Also been a mover and shaker.
Prince and pauper. Criminal and victim. Hoe and John.
I’ve been to love and to heartache.
They don’t live too far from each other, so it was a short trip.
Still interested?
I’m warning you the politically correct answers are about to dry up.
You should stamp me return to sender.
Glutton for punishment?


What am I looking for?
Solace. Not to be confused with solicitation.
Longevity. Consistency. Not this frantic day-to-day.
Nor this same shit different day.
Not this same bed different…
Again I digress.
I’m looking for understanding. Yeah, understanding.
But do you understand? Yes. No.
Wait. Hold on before you ask another, I have more to say.
I kinda like this question.
I am looking to be self-medicated.
Self-motivated into trying self-healing.
I am looking to make the things wrong with me right.
Healed, because someone that is so sick like me
Has no business trying to make something new.
Especially, when I don’t know if I’m contagious.
My emotional nervous system has Acquired an Immune Deficiency Syndrome.
Yes, before you ask I’ve looked into herbal remedies.
And I’ve tried rubbing alcohol in a glass on the rocks
But swallowing hasn’t helped either.

How many women have I slept with?
Interesting question.
You tell me why you would ask that.
Why that is something that you want to know.
You give me a valid reason and I’ll give you an honest answer.
But to me that is an inconsequential.
I don’t do number questions.
How many? How many times? How many places?
Are you coming home with me tonight?
That’s the only way you get to an immediate answer to something like that.
Yes, I’ve been promiscuous and had pre-martial sex
And almost always used precaution.
Still doesn’t remove me from the consequences of pre-natal care
Or clinical treatment every six months.
If I were you I would’ve asked when was the last time I’ve been tested.
No, it doesn’t imply that you want to sleep with me.
It’s almost like asking do I care about myself and those that I bed.
I’m no saint. Nor an angel.
Only wings I think I will ever get are the ones etched in ink I have.
And those were a gift.
Sorry, another tangent. Touchy subject for me.

What do I do for a living?
I hustle.
I put pen and per and illustrate in block script.
No, it doesn’t pay the bills, but you asked what I did for a living.
In order for me to live I have to write.
Have to work out my problems on parchment.
I’m parched. Your turn.

What's my problem?
I’m an addict. I think too much.
Like I think you don’t ask the right questions.
I think we scratch the surface
Then get upset when we find that the well we’ve chosen to drink from is shallow.
You sit there trying to strike oil.
Things seem like I could be someone to get to know.
But don’t try to mold me.
I’m broken pieces.
Told you before.
I’m trying to use this upfront and honesty thing.
Prevent the highs and lows in getting acquainted.
Not ready to be someone’s rock.
But maybe we could be companions.
And when you want to ask the right questions
But you aren’t happy with the answers, I’ll respect that.
You can walk on by and there will be no hard feelings.
I’m not trying to scare you.
I’m a work in progress. Working on me.
And honestly. Well we all have secrets.
I’m willing to share with you.
But ask the right questions.
Something’s are easier to say yes or no to
Then volunteering information.
Until then. I’m here.
Trying to keep you company.
But I’m more then comfortable being by myself.
Are you?

© August 2006
Staats

So Simple As...

A Booty Call at any given time
Defines the Evolution of our Future
Go ahead and try to Hide the shock
Ignore the Justification that i don't Know you.
Lament over the Moves that brought us to these crossroads.
No; Obviously the simplicity of our Progress should be simple.
you know ABC.
that's Quaint, curse me.
it doesn't Reverse the Situation.
Tantamount to breach of contract
it was Understood that our interaction was an acquaintance.
your tantrums speak Volumes to your motives
Whatever they may have been.
multiple infractions of unabashed indiscretion
like Xerox copies no time different from the last.
You called it our Zero drama situation.

1 moment things are good
the next 2nd we end up in this 3-angle of
Love, Lust, and Loneliness.

© August 2006
Staats

Stratosphere

Boy, keep your head out of the clouds
The air is so thin up there
And you can't tell left from your right
Vast, nothing, as far as the eye can see
But I can see why you like it up here
The clarity is so tangible
It gives order to your thoughts
Makes them manageable
Easier to handle
I've never seen the sun trace across the sky and color in the clouds.
If I was a bird I couldn't fly this high
The air is so thin
It took 30,000 feet to cruise
To realize at this height I have nothing to lose
That I can heal myself
Learn to correct the mistakes I've made
Understand my own self-worth by putting my troubles on a shelf.
With my head in the clouds
I can't tell if its Cumulus or Nimbus
I just know that it surrounds me
When it gets pregnant with rain, I too become dark and heavy
But up here, in this Stratosphere
Everything is so Blue
And vast. Nothing, as far as the eye can see.
I wonder how far does nothing go?

© July 2006
Staats

Movie Review: Miami Vice

WACK! OK, sorry had to get that unprofessionalism out real quick. Without giving away too many of the hapless less energetic parts of the film, I was very disappointed to say the least. Miami Vice, starring Jamie Foxx and Colin Farrell, never bring home the plot. From the opening scene, where the title of the movie never comes up, it starts and stops and has no real continuity. You don't know if this is days, weeks, months. The movie is extremely monotonous. And the action that a Micheal Mann film (Collateral, Heat) normally brings is not evident. The few action scenes are well scattered out, and they come at very obvious times. The two multi-million dollar stars even fail to come off as genuine in their parts.

As of watcher of Miami Vice the series, I felt that Tubbs and Sonny had a very strong repoire. This was lacking in the movie adaptation. The partners looked as if they had been paired together last week. Dry was how my movie companion described it. And that's exactly what is was. Dry. And long. At the end, it seemed a mockery and comedy-less version of Bad Boys. The fast cars, clubs, women, stretch of Miami freeway, boats, planes, all seemed repetitive. With none of the charisma that we look for. Sorry Jamie, you can't win them all.
2.5 out of 5 Stars

Time Travellin'

Check the Flux capicatator and set the coordinates for the 2nd star on the right.
Please fasten all seatbelts.
Check the no smoking sign, check; engines ready, check; all carry on items securely under your seat, check;
Relax, get a grip it’s not often I’m going to take a trip.
A trip to a post 9/11 vision of a post dated postcard that reads The Renaissance but is light years away of the post no bills destination of mine.
I time travel in a Sky Blue Taurus and be it not heavenly nor bullish it provides escapism.
Leaving a place that leaves no one behind; Michael J. Fox couldn’t even jump start this Deloran.
Nor could any Historian reading my biography 50 years later fathom this distorted theory of creationism.
Where time is irrelevant, able to bend at my will.
Willingly, I refuse to complete the circle picking places and dates along my timeline.
Sometimes just reaching forward and bringing everything to a halt.
Just listen. Hear. Strain. Comprehend.
The Thundercats are on television, somewhere in a Pacific Time the Devil’s Mafia grabs a golden figure.
But I can’t figure out what location I’m at or what year.
The only similarities of the cartoon and the rapper is that they both screaming about Ho’s.
I’ve seen this all before. Dreamed it. Willed it.
Wanted this to be everyday. Not sure what day it is.
All I know is that the sun is out and it feels good.
This time and place so far from my space, which only allows me a small representation of this H.G. Wellian.
On these voyages to the Center of my Universe, I try not to meet myself so as not to cause a Paradox.
You know a Paradox. How can two people occupy the same place at the same time without causing some multi-climatic seismic cataclysmic catastrophe that might rip the space time continuum? Great Scott!!!
Continuing on Back to the Future, because I don’t know if I’ve been here before.
Dreamed it. Willed it.
Am I going back, or if it’s the future have I not already been to
The Rage up in Harmdom that is met with coincidence filled with signs that flash red sending you signs.
No turn on red. Do not lean on doors. Do not cross. Do not pick up the table hurl it across the room and kick Rage’s ass. And do not pass go…or collect $200 dollars.
Anger and money won’t speed up my clock. Anger and money’s offspring Greed is a bitch; that Karma is still chasing, a never ending time in a never ending story.
I must say this inebriated feeling can’t be abbreviated or bottled up to send a message to my fellow travelers who’ve lost their way.
This is not a broken circle; not a path for you to follow. It only helps me measure my stats.
I am Staats by the way. Not your average. But the summation of all that I want to be. I transition space to exist in my own math.
Where 1 times 2 times 3; divided by a man traveling on a train from North Carolina who leaves at 11am on a 6,000 mile journey will reach his destination yesterday.
And he doesn’t even leave until tomorrow.
I’ve seen this all before. Dreamed it. Willed it.
Wanted this to be everyday.
Time’s up.
Please put all trays in the upright position. We will be coming off Cloud 9 shortly. Also turn off all electrical devices as they may short circuit something. We just don’t know what.
The time is now whatever you want it to be. And don’t let anyone tell you differently.
As always we know you don’t have much of a choice when you Time Travel. But we do appreciate you tripping with us.
You may know take off your seatbelts.

© March 2006
Staats

His Daily Variety

Bored at work? Want to read something of substance or just somebody else's ranting and raving. Please check out my fellow blogger in crime. Me and this guy have collaborated on some word pieces, and some future projects for you to be on the look out for. Show him some love. The man with many names. Click the name to check out... HisDailyVariety

Friends How Many of Us Have Them?

"I'm just hanging out with a few friends."

How many times have we uttered those words, and at the same time realize that it is the furthest thing from the truth. Its amazing how loosely we use the word Friend. It's just an easier characterization then having to say, "I am with an associate." Or that some people you hang out with occasionally are out with you. But would you consider them friends? Probably not. We form associations with people, and they have qualities that one day might matriculate into friendship. But its a word that I find very hard to mean genuinely. It's hard for those that I meet in the future to enter my circle of friends. Considering that I have had some of the same friends since 7th grade. Or that I travel with friends that I met my freshman year in high school. It makes those people that come into my life for a short time feel more as acquaintances. Not to knock what they have the potential to be, or that the road to friendship is hard. There are just little things that you expect from your friends. They are your rock, they have seen you cry, they tell you about yourself even when you don't want to hear it, they are someone that you would ask for a loan from. They are your support system.

Friends know your last name, and they have heard your middle name. They just might not remember it. They know your birthday. You visit their parents or send them cards on holidays and special occasions. Your younger siblings become their younger siblings. I have friends that are as close to me as some family members. They are my extended family. The fact that I can be myself whenever or wherever with them is the greatest thing about friends. You don't have to put on a mask. You don't have to lie, you can just be you. And they don't care who you are today or tomorrow, they still want to be apart of your life. So without naming names, I am thankful for my true friends. The Crew. 10 years. And somehow we still can stand each other.

"Friends, how many of us have them. Friends, ones we can depend on. Friends, how many of us have them. Before we go any further, let's be FRIENDS!!!- Whodini

Friends Dating Friends?

Good idea or not? I don't think so. Friendships are valuable assests. Friends are there to bounce ideas off, share highs and lows, but dating complicates all of those things. Yes, I think that the person you are dating should be your friend. It's a very fine line. Their are people that you meet that you are attracted to, depending on how fast you move, you might try to befriend them before trying to date them. That's fine. Now their are people that have grown up each other, went to the same schools, lived around the corner from you, whose friendship is the very foundation of your association. Dating those people are where things get complicated?

You are familar with the dating patterns of your friends. You know when they don't return phone calls, what that really means, or if they want to go out a lot, you recognize those patterns. Because good friends talk to each other about past relationships. It's also evident that when friends start dating each other, they become oblivious to certain things. They take for granted the nature of your foundation. Sometimes they become great partners, but forget to be great friends. And then what if something goes wrong?

You might have the same group of friends. Who is allowed to hang with who? You put your common friends in awkward situations by making them decide who they are closer to. You find yourself at mutual events and try to avoid each other. But you share a history. And you are expected to graciously cope with the introduction of their newest partner, at these mutual events. It's hard. It's easy to a big person on the outside, but on the inside it takes its toll. So really examine is dating a close friend, really worth the risk. Cause when the dust settles will that girl or boy next door still be there.

He Ain't Heavy...He's My Brother

Is it possible to be overly excited and dreading something all in the same moment. I am overly excited to celebrate my birthday with friends. Overly excited about seeing my brother in Hawaii. Dreading what the next year will be like while he is in Iraq. Prayer. That's all I really have. I have reassured myself that GOD is going to watch over him, while he is away. That HE is going to make a way for his wife and his kids, and that we will hear from him regularly. That we will get updates that he will be coming home soon. But I don't know. The unknown is the scariest thing to me right now. How many other families, brothers, husbands, wives, pray for the same thing? How come their prayers weren't answered? How come they were sent there in the first place? All these questions. And the fact of the matter is, everyday closer I get to seeing my brother, is another day closer for his deployment. It's hard being the strong one in the family. Hard shouldering the concern, and the hurt, and the acceptance. It's hard when you're expected to have all the answers. But all you have are all these questions.

"Don't mess with my money, or my kids. My husband can take care of himself," is what my mother always says. But the US Army is messing with my brother. I know he's going to come back. I just pray somewhere he will still be that little boy that peels in the sunlight, and that I used to tear up when we were fighting. And I pray somewhere he will continue to be that man that is doing something with his life, and that three little kids think that as long as their Daddy is around everything else is just fine. God speed and get home soon.

Independence Day

America can star spangle me and hang me from a banner
Anything to claim independence and use it for glamour
Cause no matter how you add it up and put it on the 4th of July
Two hundred and fifty years to a black man ain’t shit but a lie.
See I don’t have forefathers that signed some important parchment
I have ancestors that traveled the Atlantic in a two feet by four feet compartment
Whites have George Washington and them that created the Constitution
I have but to look out the window and see how my ancestors built this American Institution.
Go ahead and sign your John Hancock and keep trying to feed that bullshit cock to my people
Cause now your free so what about me
Now lets not forget my man Abe Lincoln
Whoa, wait a minute what the hell was I thinking?
Anyone who actually thinks that that selfish bastard meant to free us is about to get a history lesson
January 1, 1885, let me sign the Emancipation Proclamation, a documentation of falsifications, written in a act of desperation, full of nothing but defecation from a nation well versed in masturbation of Blacks.
So while we get the jerk off we are supposed to be happy about the 4th of July
WHY?
We the people, in order to establish a more perfect union…bullshit
All men are created equal…you’re really not serious
One nation under God…now you use the Lord’s name as your shield
Well I am here to knock you off your high horse
Now that you are looking up at me from the muck that is the USA
Don’t ask me to pledge allegiance to a place that doesn’t believe in itself
A nation that constantly reneges on what its foundation is supposedly built on
So I’m going to amend, and amend, and amend some more until there is nothing left.
I ain’t fooled by the fireworks,
The 4th is just a day for me to get off work.
Juneteenth is the day when Blacks were free
So that’s the date when you can start to talk Independence with me.

Oh, say can you see from the crosses burning light
That the home that we built is so shaky and scheming
And the screams that you hear
Will create their new fear, as I bring truth to the light
And my fist is still here.

© July 2002
Staats